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Your children are ‘Gerring it’, got it?

If you are live in Nairobi you must have seen the ‘pornographic’ Blurred Lines poster by Mavuno Church. If you have been living under a rock, I’ll explain.

The poster  features local slang popular with teenagers such as ‘you can gerrit’ — which is from the P-Unit song You Guy and basically means you can have sex and other popular songs like Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines and Rihanna’s Friends with the Monster.

Pour scorn

You would not believe the vitriol and scorn poured upon the church and the pastors over that poster!

I mean, Nairobians took to twitter, Facebook and even radio stations to curse and condemn the church for ‘coolifying’ their church and using sex to sell their church.

Some even predicted that the end times were nigh but I don’t agree with them. 

I am a practical girl and love to deal in facts so here we go: 

Fact number one: Teenagers are having sex. They are breaking their virginities as early as at age 11. Sorry, do you have a 13-year-old? Too bad, she could be ‘gerring it’ more times a week than you do. Sad, but true. 

Fact number two: Teens are not only having sex, they are recording it for their friends. 

They are taking photos of themselves stark naked and sharing hard-core pornographic materials. You don’t believe me? Check your son’s WhatsApp timeline. 

The Mavuno Church poster only scratches the surface in regard to what teens do these days; they ‘gerrit’ every day, and the boundaries we are taught in Sunday school have become ‘blurred lines’.

What’s more, they have read 50 Shades of Grey cover to cover, and know more styles than all of us put together. The poster seeks to remind us that these teens we call kids are not kids anymore, but young people in need of help and guidance.

Keep your religious theories and Bible verses to yourself, because the truth is, teens are having sex left, right and centre (pun intended) and your ‘world is coming to an end’ theory does not apply here. 

We are making fools of ourselves condemning Pastor Murithi Wanjau (teens call him Pastor M) and the Mavuno Church for “showing porn to children”, while the truth is Pastor M and Co. are telling us what we do not want to hear; teens are having sex! 

Yet there you are, pretending that they are still the same pure little virgins born 12 years ago.

There are Nairobians with a rare kind of hypocrisy and stupidity who say the poster promotes sex among teens. I don’t even know what to tell you, except that you need a brain transplant. 

I am not a theology student but I know one of the hallmarks of evangelism is to start from where people are and then lead them to Jesus Christ.

If he dined with prostitutes and tax collectors, then the poster has a right to address the teens in the language they understand best. 

The pair of legs on the poster is not even close to what teenagers see on television. Have you seen how your teenage daughter twerks like there’s no tomorrow, how she gyrates her booty like the world is ending tonight?

You think mentioning Robin Thicke’s song Blurred Lines is porn? You clearly haven’t caught your teen watching Macka Diamond’s Dye Dye Dye and Busy Signal’s Bedroom Bully

This is not about the poster but about the state of our society. Parents have failed to teach their children the truth about sex. 

This is about the fact that teens — your teen — needs help in demystifying this thing called sex. For instance; why it probably feels so much better without a condom and why sex with the same person gets boring at some point. 

I know it’s a tall order to ask you to talk to your teen about sex, so why not let those have the guts to tackle the elephant in the room do it? 

Leave Pastor M and Mavuno Church to educate your child. You’ll thank them for it later.