Nairobi News

LifeWhat's Hot

Why I prefer my men old school

Dating in the 21st Century is tougher than going on an expedition to the moon. It is a stupid, ridiculous venture. We complicate everything. It is all about mind games. Lying games.

You have to pretend you don’t like a guy when you cannot stand the thought of him with another girl.

The words ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ are misused, we never really mean them. When we tell a person we miss them, it means we miss something they have or they can give us. We use the word love selfishly.

You have to pretend you don’t care and show him he has competition to keep him interested. You must pretend you are not available for a date so he doesn’t think you are too available.

Just because Steve Harvey says men get turned off by women who are too available.

Dating in the 21st Century means you can’t exhibit your true feelings because you have to resist everything that comes naturally with the feeling of love.

First, you meet a guy. Wherever; in the club, social media, mutual friends or even at work. He checks you out. Your smile, your eyes, your hair, your dress and your derriere. Especially your derriere.

He walks up to you and strikes up a conversation, acting all nice and gentlemanly and naturally, you exchange numbers.

On the first night, he will WhatsApp you, but first he checks out your WhatsApp profile picture.

That sets the ball rolling for torrents of WhatsApp messages that glue you to your phone, even when you are supposed to be working.

On WhatsApp, you get flirty, crack jokes and get to know each other a little more. The guy will most likely ask you out for coffee.

The first date is all about impressions.

And I usually get turned off on that date and here’s why; because the man seated across me cannot sustain a meaningful conversation. He is insecure without WhatsApp, thinking he can impress by name-dropping, hot air and talking big.

Love letters

What happened to dating? My mentor tells me what dating was like in his days.

Boy meets girl. They exchange addresses or phone numbers and arrange for a date. The date was an opportunity to get to know each other better. Hobbies, gifts, talents, likes and dislikes. Boy escorts girl home, like a gentleman. The courtship process begins.

The courtship is punctuated with earnest love letters from both parties, meeting of friends, relatives and eventually a moving proposal.

There was no pretence. If a man did not have, he did not pretend he had. If a girl cared, she did not pretend she didn’t.

Love in those days was simple, blissful, fulfilling and satisfying. What changed?