Wedding freaks out men, but not fear to commit
Saturday is my time to be like the spider on the wall and just laze around. But family relations tugged me to a wedding last weekend.
This was really sad. Nevertheless, there was more pomp and glamour than I would assume prophet Elijah’s chariot had as it soared up to heaven.
Undoubtedly, women need to get married at one point in life — I just don’t think it was really meant for men. The unspeakable torments that mischievously gets interwoven with that small pale gold ring becomes like trying to drag a Subaru up the slopes of Kericho at 220kph.
But if I may break it down; the problem is not as much with matrimony as it is with the wedding itself. Every man eventually embraces the idea of a marriage, though begrudgingly. Yet when I try to imagine myself at the altar, I see myself skydiving without a parachute.
Being the groom in a wedding is only as gracious as being the cadaver on which a celebrity doctor performs a postmortem.
Like Valentine’s, weddings are just a woman’s affair. Gone are the days you would drag a woman to the AG’s and walk out more than just friends.
As the groom, try choosing your own suit and you will meet rage, which like Black Ice and tequila shots, let you know just how much you don’t know about your partner.
To a woman a wedding’s success depends on how memorable it will be to her friends. And that’s why I insist men aren’t afraid of commitment, but it’s the wedding that freaks them out.
The only time I would gladly accept to have a wedding is when I’m in a frail health state and need to marry a Canadian for their world-renowned comprehensive insurance covers. Remember the ring on the finger does not change a man — he will be the same one.
Whichever way you look at it, the excesses involved in weddings can never be warranted.