Nairobi News

I must admit that there is something irresistible about married men. They are mature and know how to treat a lady.

Most of these ‘taken’ men are also moneyed and do not mind spending on the apple of their eye.

The problem is that in most cases, their wives have no idea what kind of rare jewels they have in their possession and usually take them for granted.

They make no effort to keep the marital fire burning. Many of them are no longer attractive to their husbands because they have let themselves go.

Desperately in love

That is why customary marriages are good news for single ladies who are in search of ‘the one’ and often fall in love with a ‘taken’ man.

I am reminded of one my favourite TV series, Being Mary Jane, in which the main character, Mary Jane Paul, played by Gabrielle Union, finds herself in a tough spot when she falls desperately in love with Andre — a man stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage.

The plot thickens when Mary Jane approaches Andre’s wife with the truth. As expected, the two women tussle over Andre, but Mary Jane, the mistress is not about to relent.

She tells off the wife in the most profound manner:  “You know I’ve found that being Number Two gives you all the glory of being at the top without all the pressures of the Number One spot. See, the job of any great Number Two is to figure what the Number One is missing and what they are doing wrong.

“So, take your time to learn, be patient and get better. You will get to where you’re supposed to be if you do the work. And remember, if you don’t, somebody else will.”

In many ways, I can relate to Mary Jane Paul. I have found myself at a crossroads many times with married men. I can assure you that they are gentle, smooth and some are old-fashioned, which makes them hopelessly attractive.

Because I was raised well, I have held back many times. I have turned down several offers, castigated their advances and ignored their favours. But not any more.

It is time for single ladies to go for what they deserve, the Number Two spot. As Mary Jane in the TV series aptly puts it, being Number Two more or less places you at a vantage point, where you are able to study the Number One and capitalise on her weaknesses.

Make her weakest links your forté and her weaknesses your greatest strengths.

The way I see it, there is nothing glamorous about being Number One. I mean, it is too mainstream. I want to be the irresistible Number Two, who outshines the Number One tactfully and smartly without breaking a sweat.

The truth is, Number Ones have let their guard down. They think that because they have rings on their fingers and babies to boot, their work is done. What remains, they think, is to relax and enjoy.

As a result, good men are going to waste, enduring slow, painful deaths in boring marriages and relationships. Their lives have been ridden of the excitement and adrenaline rush that made them tick.

I think is time for a revolution, and it must be sparked by single women like me who are vying for the Number Two spot. It is time we figured out what these good men are missing and make it our business to challenge the Number Ones.

It is time for single ladies to put their best foot forward, bring on their game and take what now legally and rightfully belongs to them.

Number Ones who thought they had it all had better think again, because there is a breed of young, fresh wannabe Number Twos who will give them a run for their men.