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Top 12 sexiest Kenyan footballers of 2015

It was Pele who described football as the beautiful game, and this phrase has gone on to become the game’s unofficial tagline.

Now let’s admit it. It’s the silly season and we are all bored. Given, there are players who have lit up the stadium this entire season and the last. And the one before that.

Players who continue to show admirable skill and confidence on the pitch, but you won’t find those ones here.

Those ones were awarded during the Kenyan Premier League footballer of the year awards. They are not the subject of this article.

Today, we are listing the names of another class of players. Players whose skill and performance is matched one on one with overly sexy looks. Players who could do the cat walk and model for a fashion ad and totally kill it.

And speaking of fashion, some (I wish I could say all) of these players are already doing it. Doing it right. But a number of them still have a jaundiced fashion sense, but I am asking the fashion people to not consider their dressing because that is something some of us can help them fix.

The La Liga has Cristiano Ronaldo (and Gerard Pique!), the English Premier League has Olivier Giroud, the Bundesliga has Mat Hummels and Mario Gotze and below, Nairobi News has picked and graded the hottest local footballers.

Before you dive in, keep in mind that Kenyan football is holding the highest number of audience per game currently.

12. Stephen Waruru (Ulinzi Stars)

If you have never seen a handsome policeman then learn Waruru’s name and learn it quickly.

This is a solid midfielder who also knows how to score goals. He currently turns up for Ulinzi Stars but he has been MIA all season long because he was sent to South Sudan for peace keeping. He is however expected be back next year.

Perhaps it is because of his military background, but Waruru is one of those few players who keep a drama-free hair style. He always shaves clean and even that one suits him perfectly.

11. Anthony “Baggio” Mbugua (Israel)

This quiet man plays for the senior national team and plies his trade in Israel. Yes, Israel. He is a good midfielder, who was at some point championed to be one of the most promising footballers in Kenya.

He hasn’t gotten much play time with the Kenyan national team this year, but we say he is a total score on the looks!

10. Andrew Tololwa (Mathare United)

Tololwa is another footballer who still believes that a man’s hair needs to be shaved down to the ground, and that the salon is no place for a man.

Tololwa has been at Tusker for the last two seasons, but he moved back to his boyhood club Mathare United during the midseason transfer window. Although he has not had the best of seasons this year we reckon he is quite easy on the eyes.

9. Johanna Omollo (Antwerp, Belgium)

Omollo’s midfield prowess is his identity. He may not be on your radar, but he really should be. He has great hair (he is competing with Jamal Mohammed on the beard-on-chin), has an imposing physique and…wait for it…he wears Calvin Klein underneath. All the time!

Omollo is constant in the Harambee Stars squad, a good midfielder who is also a joy to watch on the pitch. He has established a flourishing career in Belgium and just last weekend he scored a last minute goal for Antwerp.

8. Eugene Asike (Tusker)

Eugene Ambuchi Asike is a 22 year-year-old defender who scored two goals on his debut for Tusker this season.

This boy doesn’t just have the looks, he has the body as well and the best part of it all!

He drives BEASTS. We are girls and know little about cars, but I do know that the things that Asike drives to training and to the stadium are real BEASTS. I’m telling you.

Why he doesn’t play for the national team is a question I will ask Bobby Williamson next year when he finally finds it in his heart to forgive Kenyan media.

7. MacDonald Mariga (club unknown)

We may not know where he is playing at currently, (or if he is playing at all) but this former Parma FC midfielder always looks dashing.

He may not have the personality of a humble man, but Mariga looks good in shorts and looks good in jeans.

Why Mariga has never modelled for H&M is something I will spend a lifetime understanding. He has a killer smile and even though he has issues loving human beings, he loves his perfume and spends unreservedly on them.

He may not appear on the best midfielders’ list, but he appears seventh on our list.

6. Lawrence Olum (Harambee Stars)

Tall, dark and handsome explains who Lawrence Olum is. He has never played in the Kenyan Premier League, but he occasionally turns up for Harambee Stars as a defender. Depending on a number of things, including the coach’s mood.

Those who know him well know that he can melt the hearts of five girls with his accent. His speech is an interesting blend of urban American slang and up market Kenyan English. Just too strong.

In fact, I can literally see him reading this and saying; “Yo! This gurl be trippin…” (sic). Fallen in love yet?

5 Clifford Miheso (Finland)

Destroying full backs is his specialty, although his last performance for the national team wasn’t aaaaall that.

Miheso is an attacking midfielder who left Sofapaka at the beginning of the year and went to start life in Finland. While there he turned on an attractive spiky hairstyle which he bombarded us with recently when he came for national team duty.

He measures only a little over 5’5’’, but many a female football supporters can still ogle at his still-fine physique the thermal body suits that he is so fond of.

4 Moses Otieno (Posta Rangers)

You may or may not remember him but he is a solid midfielder who played for Gor Mahia a little while back.

He, however, made a pleasant addition to the Posta Rangers side and guess what, he and his club are coming back to the national league.

Otieno is more popularly known as M30, and he has this dental formula that would tick all the boxes in you. If sexy teeth are what you are about.

Like Olum, M30 has the kind of height that would positively intimidate any woman into submission. He measures in a good 6’2’’. I said positively intimidate.

3. Musa Mohammed (Gor Mahia)

There is only one player at Gor Mahia named Mohammed. This one is easy to know because he played 30/30 league matches last season, and he is also the current field captain at Chuor Timbe.

Musa has played for K’Ogalo all his professional career, and this year he has commanded that central defense position like the leader that he is.

One of the stand out things for Musa is that he is a metrosexual and he doesn’t even know it. To enhance his eye catching looks, Musa likes to do a little something with his eyebrows.

If you want to know what I am talking about, hit Google right now and find his pictures for the Foya awards held earlier this month.

2. Ayub Timbe (no club)

Even the guys love Timbe. He may be small in stature, but he is mighty of spirit and is a serious midfielder.

At 23 years (football age or whatever), Timbe is at his beautiful best, and he scores goals with the exact same seriousness that he cleans up afterwards. This one has a strong fashion sense.

If this wing wizard is not scoring goals, he is creating them for his teammates and he makes you believe that he can do it all and the best part, from what we gather, he is single!

Timbe whips up accurate passes from the midfield that make you think seriously about checking his socks for a knife. And he is as handsome as it can be (that dimple ooohhh!).

Did I mention how much he likes to dress? Timbe definitely should have been number one.

1. Arnold Origi (Lillestrom, Norway)

So here is Kenya’s best goalkeeper. He is now at the age of 32 and playing for Norwegian club Lillestrom, but still plays and looks like he is 21.

It doesn’t matter if he is taking his short off or putting it on, Origi looks smashing and he has the personality to go with it.

Boy knows when to put his foot down. When to draw the line between blind patriotism and the professionalism he has learnt in Norway.

Origi turned into the goalkeeper we know today while at Mathare United, and he has recorded a fantabulous career at Norway where he has been feted several times by the club management.

Origi is everything. He is a real celebrity, he is rich, and he is one of the very few Kenyan players who actually know how to use twitter!

He has ties with Liverpool’s Divork Origi who really should have been number one in this list but whom we couldn’t mention because…well…he is technically not Kenyan.