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The right moment for that proposal

When I proposed to my wife six years ago there was no fanfare, just a simple ring and an honest commitment to walk her down the aisle a year later.

Looking at modern day proposals, I probably might have to pull up my socks and spice it a little were I to do it today.

Having a perfect proposal is now common among us and many ladies long for that moment. People are proposing live on air on TV and radio shows, in between worship session in churches and engagement parties are now common.

Whereas these are good efforts, so often we get consumed with a perfect proposal and miss the most important part of it, the perfect moment.

That is why you will see a lady with an engagement ring three years after the perfect proposal but no wedding date in sight and many break ups so soon after lavish engagements or weddings.

So what is the right moment for the perfect proposal?

Wedding date

The most important thing after that perfect proposal is the wedding date. If he proposes and doesn’t say the wedding date then be quick to ask otherwise when it is open-ended you run the risk of having someone’s ring for years.

It doesn’t have to be a big wedding. It can be a traditional wedding, a simple wedding at the Attorney General’s office or in church. Remember: Moving in together isn’t a wedding.

Secondly, a perfect proposal shouldn’t come out of the blue. If he is the type that hasn’t talked about the wedding for years or always ducks the topic, then you might be looking at a fluke.

There are some men who propose after pressure from parents, friends or even you. A perfect proposal moment is one that he is fully into the marriage.

Foundation issues

Getting to the marriage is a process. It involves our minds and hearts. The perfect moment for a perfect proposal means you have talked about marriage over time.

You have argued over foundation issues such as which church, mosque or temple to attend if any, how many children to have, where to settle, how to manage your finances and how to deal with in-laws. 

If there are major disagreements and you haven’t got a compromise, then the proposal might not be that perfect. 

This reminds me of a friend of mine who was a staunch evangelical. He fell in love with a staunch Catholic hoping that she would change her faith.

After a perfect proposal he had to break up the engagement when the lady insisted that she wasn’t ready to change her church.