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How rats in your kitchen will earn county revenue

Residents will be taxed left, right and centre to cover the cost of running the County.

A new range of taxes and fees is to be brought in to raise the cash.

The new Nairobi County Finance Act, 2013, which is now law, has raided the most awkward of areas in search of revenue, and increased fee for more than half of the services by more than 200 per cent.

You will pay for everything in the city, whether it is out of misfortune such as death, sickness, or failure to clear taxes.

Worshipping is also now highly taxed as well as the removal of a dead animal from your backyard.

Cockroaches and fleas

For example, removing a fallen tree from your compound will cost Sh5,000 an hour. Control of bees that have invaded your home will also cost you a fortune. If you need a ladder, you must have Sh7,000 in cash ready.

There will be no free preaching. Lunch hour sermons will cost the servant of God or religious organisation Sh2,500 per hour while those preaching in the parks will be charged Sh50,000 a day.

Anyone putting up a tent in a public place will have to fork out Sh10,000.

Woe unto you if insects or rodents invade your household. It will cost Sh10,000 to control bees and a similar amount to rid the place of snakes.

Fighting mosquitoes will require Sh1,500 per square metre while you will need Sh2,000 to eliminate cockroaches and fleas.

It will be more expensive to get rid of rats, mice and pigeons because County officials will demand Sh15,000 from you.

This is just a peep into a raft of charges contained in the new Act approved by the County Assembly’s Finance Committee.

Committee chairman Michael Ogada who is an Embakasi County Rep supported the move.

“We reviewed a number of charges as suggested by the executive. We had to review them because most are old and do not reflect the modern-day realities,” he said.

Mr Ogada also said there were new areas that that will attract the county’s taxman. County Finance Executive, Gregory Mwakanongo, expects more than Sh5 billion from the new charges to plug holes in Nairobi’s Sh25 billion budget.

Some of the new areas are politics where a rally at Kamukunji grounds will cost Sh50,000. Previously, it was free.

Higher penalties will befall those whose tools of trade will be impounded. For example it will cost Sh3,000 to return a sofa set to you,  a gear box Sh10,000 and a welding machine Sh2,500.

Those selling dogs are also on the radar of the County taxman. It will cost Sh30,000 to sell an exotic dog and Sh15,000 for puppies. Hawking the canines will cost one Sh10,000 and their puppies Sh5,000. Festivities will also not be free.

Decorations for Christmas and Diwali will cost Sh10,920 a fortnight.

It will be a nightmare to pay for death in Nairobi. According to the new Lang’ata Cemetery charges, it will cost a family Sh25,000 to inter the body of an adult up from Sh15,000. For children, it will be Sh20,000.

Exhumation of a body will cost Sh50,000. Grave diggers will have a 50 per cent pay rise. You will pay them each Sh1,500, up from Sh1,000.