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Ten questions to worry about this weekend

1. Now that Gmail makes it possible to “undo a sent an email”, will the same Google people enable us to unwatch terrific YouTube videos like that one in which Col Mustafa sings about two Tanzanian towns?

2. Because Siaya MCA Fred Ouda wanted his member exposed as he stripped naked while defending Raila Odinga at a press conference, can we say that the real member of the Gem Central ward stood up to be counted?

Mr Matthew Kinuthia Maina  at the Milimani Law Courts on June 22, 2015. PHOTO | PAUL WAWEU
Mr Matthew Kinuthia Maina at the Milimani Law Courts on June 22, 2015. PHOTO | PAUL WAWEU

3. Because he must have clambered up stones to scale the State House wall, will the young “musician” Mathew Kinuthia Mwangi who is awaiting a sentence start singing rock music and have fencing as his best sport? Or, will his experience with handcuffs make him want to sing heavy metal music?

4. With the discovery of a condom that changes colour when it detects an STI, can we also have coffee that changes colour when a gold-digger sips it during the first coffee date?

5. With reports that there are gangs among the student population at the University of Nairobi, will Sonu chairman Babu Owino write another letter asking the President to declare Jua Cali’s “Ngeli ya Genge” the official campus ringtone and to order students to write their academic paper citations using the gangnam style?

6. If you take a selfie while taking instant coffee with instant noodles then upload it on Instagram, will you become an instant sensation?

7. The person who made the first attempt at setting ablaze an NYS toilet in Kibera, can his/her heroics inspire us to include the word “trial-blazer” in Kenyan English?

The Embassava sacco fleet was banned from the roads by the National Transport and Safety Authority for flouting traffic rules. PHOTO | NAIROBI NEWS
The Embassava Sacco fleet was banned from the roads by the National Transport and Safety Authority for flouting traffic rules. PHOTO | NAIROBI NEWS

8. With NTSA suspending Embassava Sacco matatus that transport people from the “Far East” to Nairobi, will the wise men who will be making it to town on foot bring gifts of deodorant, muscle massage cream and shoe polish?

9. Can we say the headlines of this week have put to question the “guru” in “Waiguru” through the NYS saga and confirmed the “miwa” in “Mheshimiwa Rais” through his visit to Mumias?

10. Can “the milky way” be entered in the dictionary to describe Nairobi roads where so many passengers have lost their Galaxy phones through snatching via matatu windows?