MY STORY: Sweet husband became a monster after knowing my barreness
It is always the joy of any woman to get married to the man of her dreams and bear him beautiful and handsome girls and boys. I am no exception.
By the time I was getting married, I was 27 years old. I had gotten myself a job in Kitale, my home town. This had always been my dream; secure a job for myself then get married.
Being a staunch Christian, I had met my husband, Wamy, in church. I liked the fact that we were both saved and both young.
Under normal circumstances, it is expected that a woman gives birth about a year after her wedding, or at least a year and a half. For my case it was different.
NOT CONCEIVED YET
We were married for more than two years and I hadn’t conceived yet. In the beginning I wasn’t worried because I simply thought that I didn’t keep track of my ovulation cycle well. Then it was three years down the line and things were still the same, I became scared.
I talked to Wamy every now and then about the situation but he insisted that God’s timing was the best. I believed he used to say that because he was God-fearing and didn’t want to add insult to injury by pressurizing me to bear him children.
The phone calls started. Phone calls from my mother-in-law demanding to know why I was not taking to her grandchildren. Phone calls from other relatives.
My mother-in-law was a tough one. At first she used to sound polite, making it sound humorous by saying she needed to hear baby coos whenever she called. I responded and by telling her to be a little bit more patient for she would soon be hearing the coos.
I however knew that her politeness would not last long if I didn’t pop out her grandchildren. We reached an agreement with Wamy to go seek medical advice and after series of tests, I was found to be barren.
My heart fell. I felt as though my world was crumbling. I had always desired to have my own children; feel them in my womb; see who takes after me and who takes after Wamy. But sadly this was never going to happen.
I wept throughout our way back home. Wamy tried to comfort me but his efforts were useless.
Immediately we arrived home, he left. At around 9.00 pm I called to find out where he was and he told me he was with his friends having fun. The place was very noisy, and with loud secular music playing in the background.
CAME HOME DRUNK
This was so unlike him. I couldn’t sleep a wink so I waited in the living room until around 4.00 am when he came back, totally drunk. I couldn’t believe it. From church to the bar?! Then I realized he did it because of the news of my barrenness. I thought the drinking was a one off thing, I was wrong.
This habit continued as time went by and he even got to the extent of insulting me, saying the way I was a useless creature and that he couldn’t stand the sight of me in his house anymore.
My mother-in-law began pressurizing Wamy to marry a second wife. She too, became hostile. Wamy would bring random women in our house and sleep with them on our matrimonial bed. He ordered me to be sleeping in the guest room.
But despite all these pain and suffering, I never lost hope. I would fast and pray for the Lord to open Wamy’s eyes so that he could turn from his evil ways; and above all take away my shame of being barren.
I know doctors rarely make mistakes in diagnosing what one suffers from but I believe God has the final word, and one day I’ll surely conceive. We still live together, and I keep praying for him, and for us both.
The story as told to Phylis A. Tambasi of Content Production Media, a Nairobi based Media Company that creates content for print, online platforms, film and television.
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