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MY STORY: A near death experience and loss of an unborn child

I got married in September of 1994. The day is one of the best days of my life. My wife and I both had good jobs at the time; the bills got paid and we never felt we lacked anything. We had no children at the time so all the expenses were minimal.

A few months after we got married, we found out that we were expecting our first child; a boy. Of course we were as excited as any new parents would be. We started preparing early: we had a room ready and decided to name him Michael.

My wife and I also decided to get a car to make movement easy for us especially when it was time for her to give birth. Getting a car with our paychecks wasn’t easy; we had to save up for two months and add what we had to a loan we had just received from the bank. With that, we had enough money to buy a small Suzuki from out of the country, it was cheaper that way.

After the car arrived at the port of Mombasa, I had to travel there overnight and drive it back to Nairobi. At the time, my wife was four months pregnant so she was still able to stay home alone.

As I was on the highway driving back home, something terrible happened; I lost control of the car. I think it was just a moment of my absent mindedness that led to it. I think the speed I was going at was too high for me to handle, I veered off the road and hit the wall of a nearby housing unit; that was all I remember. The impact was terrible and it felt like it happened in a split second.

I remember waking up in ambulance and passing out again. I was in the hospital with a compression fracture on my neck and three broken ribs. Thanks to the seat belt I was wearing, my injuries were not severe.

MISCARRIAGE

My wife was right there by my side throughout the three weeks I spent in recovery at the hospital. If she had to go to work, she would be come back immediately after.

When it was time for me to go home, I was still wearing a neck brace thus I couldn’t handle public transport; we had to take a taxi all the way home. I spent two more weeks at home to fully recover and before going back to work.

Just when I thought all was going back to normal, I got a call from one of my wife’s friends. This also happened to be my first day back at the office. My wife had been rushed to the hospital a few hours before I got the call. I tried asking her what happened but she just told me to head to the hospital right away.

When I arrived, I found my wife’s friend seated outside the ward. She told me that my wife started bleeding at work and that she is the one who had rushed her to the hospital. Immediately I knew she must have had a miscarriage and when I went to see her she was crying; she cried for almost two hours.

After she had been taken care of, the doctor told us she had an incompetent cervix and due to the condition a miscarriage was common during the second trimester.

We were both devastated, especially my wife. She had already formed an attachment to the unborn baby. It was hard for me too; I had just recovered from a traumatic experience only to be hit with another one.

I shouldn’t have counted my chicks before they hatched; I was left with no car and no Michael and every time I look at those photos it just reminds me of a low point in my life.

Story as told to Caroline Kagose of Content Production Media, a Nairobi based Media Company that creates content for print, online platforms, film and television.

Twitter: @CPMBelieve1

Email: [email protected]