Nairobi News

It’s Christmas Day and ‘Watu wa Nairobi’ are in shagz to enjoy the festive season with the village folks.

Among them is a horde of Slay Queens and Slay Kings will be attracting alot of attention during their brief stay in the village, just like they are used to in the city.

So, for the village folks, who just can’t understand these city ‘slays’, here is the Slay Queen and King demystified:

1. It’s a rugged trouser, not a worn-out one

Villagers are wondering why the Slay Queens and Kings from the city are prancing all over the place in ‘torn’ clothes. Hey, just before you tear your trousers and look like a poor man instead of “swaggish” as you want to, we have what is known as rugged and in the city we are used to it.

2. Those are not long nails but bandika ones

You saw her with long matching nails and admired how preserved they looked? Now you are wondering for how long she kept the nails, avoided house chores like washing to see them grow to that size? Come on! It did not take her even 30 minutes to see the ‘bandikas’ get paraded on her finger-nails.

3. He didn’t apply shoe polish; he just dyed it

His hair is so black and shiny making you hate what you carry on your head? Or did you just love the brown color applied on his head? Kindly, don’t rush and purchase shoe polish, he applied dye.

But if you ignore this and apply shoe polish you will see the difference when it will be sunny and you start sweating. Your clothes will have a black or brown ugly stain while for them things will look just normal.

4. She is not well fed, chances are she has fake hips

You are almost killing yourself because of some outgrown hips that are now the talk of the village? Relax, she might have applied some enhancements that saw her hips grow excessively. You might think it is cool that way and live in the kitchen trying to eat salads and fries, you will end up having a pot-belly.

Again, if you look at her closely, you will notice that the hips might as well be shapeless and not of the same size. So don’t be shocked to know that she might be carrying some fake hip to match one of her real hips that outgrew the other.

5. Her face is so light-skinned, yet the rest of her body is as ‘black’ as coal

Hey, she is on make-up. Without that brown powder that they do apply you will see the difference. Tips that will make you succeed in knowing why the “black-magic” of making faces brown include ensuring that you see her very early in the morning when she wakes up. Another tip is to wait for her once she comes from the bathroom.