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MIDEGA: Queer lessons that may steer me to State House

Firstly, my old man didn’t offer me any freebies to advance his political ambitions. I’m not a political marionette.

I got some queer lessons from him and I intend to pass them down and hopefully live in State House come 2017.

First, truth can be a cancer. You should always embrace secrecy. Failure to do so always serves to your detriment. Forget Bill Clinton’s eventual confession after the Monica Lewinski sex scandal for he was about to face impeachment.

I speak not of marriage situations solely, but life in general.  See, being morally versatile, my dad would be so effective in trivialising simple arithmetic discrepancies in the range of Sh10 billion in the budget.

Also, despite the furore raised by the public after the auditor general reveals a black hole between the KRA, CBK and Treasury through which billions are unaccounted for and probably siphoned, in classic presidential disposition my father would never call a press conference to address the issue.

Second, forgive but never forget. Even the Kenyan politician who seems to be of feeble memory aptitude on matters that he promised on his manifesto strictly abides to this political code of conduct.

This is imperative in the institution of presidency. Unlike most former presidents, to arrest corruption, my dad would never reappoint any minister formally charged with fraud to the Cabinet; and definitely none that is having his academic qualifications the subject of a court case.

Third, every problem will have a cure. See my dad was always resourceful, a mentality which will be vital in the execution of presidential mandate especially to perpetual problems like floods and drought across the country.

But first, let me register a party, the Umbilical Cord Party.