Nairobi News

LifeWhat's Hot

Now I know the beauty of dating older men

I met him in church. He must have been behind me as I walked to the parking area. I slipped and almost fell flat on my face, but that is not what startled me and made me turn swiftly.

“Oh dear, I am so sorry. Are you okay?” I heard a voice behind me.

That is how I met Steve. He was tall, six foot three inches, impeccably dressed and smelled like heaven. He was quite the looker.

His hair, jet black and neatly shaven, his hairline, so perfect, not a strand of hair out of place. He had an out-of-this world smile, with the perfect white teeth, well-structured and neatly arranged.

He was incredibly stylish, his weekend attire was carefully selected and well-pressed; a pair of beige slacks, a crisp white cotton shirt and brown Clarks to match. 


He had a lean, well-toned body that made him look like those underwear male models women love to drool at.

“Let me guess, you are new here,” he said, his eyes transfixed on mine. “Is it that obvious?” I asked. He laughed. That laugh, bubbling with energy and excitement. I could listen to him laugh all day, I thought. 

That was the beginning of one of the most electrifying dating experiences I have ever had — with a man 15 years my senior — that made me believe that every young woman must at least date, if not, marry an older man. 

My experience with Steve opened my eyes to what I was missing all along, having wasted my time with young, restless, adrenaline-charged men in their 20s who have no clue on how to treat a woman right. 

Steve impressed me with his gallantry; he treated me graciously like a delicate flower, worshipping the ground I walked on. 

He pulled my seat, opened my car door and took a keen interest in whatever I said, never allowing himself to be distracted by his smartphone.

He took a keen interest in my work, and I was moved by his luminous earnestness in critiquing the articles I wrote, and never forgetting to compliment me when he thought I did well.

I swooned at his old-fashioned smoothness, consumed by his chivalry that reminded me exactly how it felt to be in the presence of a gentleman.  Our conversations were meaningful, thoughtful and soulful.

Unlike the younger men who barely paid attention and constantly interrupted conversations to look through their Facebook timelines, tweet or sext, Steve listened inquisitively, maintaining eye contact and thinking through his words carefully before he spoke.


He challenged my mind, pushed my boundaries and provoked my thought process. 

He fascinated me by his sense of rightness, his experience in life and his overflowing wisdom. I loved picking his mind on various matters, and often times I was floored, actually, toppled, by his impressive knowledge on very many topics, so much that I felt like his apprentice. His student of life. 

So what is it with older men that I find so alluring? Older men are refined, they know better, they have more and they love best. 

They know what makes a lady tick, are gentle and smooth, without seeming too aloof. You see, older men like Steve are settled, physically, emotionally and psychologically. 

They are not out to have fun with a woman, they want to experience a woman, they want a meaningful involvement. I like to think of them like diamonds, multi-faceted, and every day, you discover a new side of them never seen before.

They know what they want and nothing can stop them from pursuing it. They are selfless lovers, always putting your needs above the rest, ensuring that what a lady wants, a lady gets. They are well-taught, if I may use that word. 

They have been taught what women want, how to treat women, and they are easy, fast learners, always eager not to please, but to satisfy a woman’s deepest needs. 

Of course, I must admit there is a downside to every good thing, like for instance how some of these older men can get possessive and territorial, some even insecure and this is manifested in their control-freak behaviour.

But who doesn’t have a downside? Would you rather have that reckless, young man or a fine and refined older gentleman who can’t get enough of you?