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Nine things Kim Kardashian’s Sh1b stolen jewellery can buy in Nairobi

Kim Kardashian, American rapper Kanye West’s celebrity wife, was on Sunday accosted by men dressed as policemen and robbed at gunpoint of jewellery worth at least 9 million Euros or $10 million.

She was alone in a luxurious apartment in the Eighth Arrondissement, nearly two miles from the dinner, when two men burst in, tied her up and gagged her, then escaped with at least three accomplices, officials said.

This was after an intimate Paris Fashion Week dinner and reception at which truffled scrambled eggs, white fish and copious amounts of champagne were served.

Police officers stand guard at the entrance to a hotel residence at the Rue Tronchet, near Madeleine, central Paris, on October 3, 2016, where US reality television star Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint by assailants disguised as police who made off with millions, mainly in jewellery.
Police officers stand guard at the entrance to a hotel residence at the Rue Tronchet, near Madeleine, central Paris, on October 3, 2016, where US reality television star Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint by assailants disguised as police who made off with millions, mainly in jewellery.

That’s quite huge amount of money worth of jewellery. Converted to Kenya shillings, that’s Sh1 billion worth of jewellery. Jewellery only. Jewellery for the night. Probably there’s more of that type of jewellery in her closet back home in America.

So, what can Kim Kardashian pay for in Nairobi using her stolen jewelry? Nairobi News has done the math, so you don’t have to.

1. Pay for all building permits in this city for a year
According to the Nairobi City County government’s projected revenue for the 2016/17 financial year, building permits will generate Sh1.7 billion. Kim can simply do this without feeling a dent in her bank balance. She can be, what the media calls, a Nairobi building magnate.

2. Fund 1.6km stretch of Outer Ring road
If you live in Eastlands, you must be dreading the daily traffic jams as a result of the ongoing construction on Outer Ring Road. That construction will cost the government Sh7.9b. The reality start can simply dispose of her stolen jewelry and use the proceeds to fund a whole 1.6km stretch of this road.

3. Repay stolen NYS money
There are number of court cases going regarding the multi-million National Youth Service scandals. The figures in this saga are varying but the often cited amount to have been stolen from the ministry is Sh791 million. Interestingly, whoever stole from the ministry cannot afford a single set of jewelery for this eccentric socialite.

4. Build a mega church
In August this year President Uhuru Kenyatta opened Teresia Wairimu’s Faith Evangelistic Ministry’s new church in Karen. The church can seat an astonishing 4,000 congregants. It oozes class and glamour. Well, that church cost the self-appointed prophetess Sh1 billion to build and furnish, just pocket change to Kim K.

5. State-of-the-art printing press
Kim Kardashian can comfortably buy a latest printing press for any publishing house on the continent. In March this year, Nation Media Group launched top of the range printing press valued at Sh2 billion. We think Kim K can buy that with a press of a button and we shall print that.

6. Two houses for former presidents
There was huge outcry when former president Mwai Kibaki was presented with a state-financed home in Mweiga, Nyeri. The sprawling house came with a swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. It also has a health club and an in-house canteen for entertaining guests. That retirement gift cost taxpayers Sh500 million. Kim K must be wondering if Kenyans are crazy! That house cannot buy her a single set of jewelry!

7. Kenya’s most exclusive home
According to various reports, Kenya’s most exclusive home is located at Magnolia Hills . This six-bedroom home was designed by Kenya’s great architects Mehraz Ehsani. The house is easily capable of accommodating 200 – 250 guests. It’s price? Only KSh 600 million. Pocket change to Kim K who rose to fame after a sex-tape leak.

8. Renovate a stadium
If Kim Kardashian was a resident in Kakamega town, she would have been incensed at lack of a good stadium to either watch her favourite team play or two bulls squaring it out. Bukhungu, the only stadium in town, is undergoing renovation. The county government has announced that it will cost Sh1 billion to bring it to the required standard. Kim’s stolen jewelry can easily fund the renovation’s without burdening the taxpayer.

9. Buy a house from Raila Odinga or William Ruto
Press reports have indicated that the Deputy President William Ruto and former Prime Minister Raila Odinga are constructing palaces worth Sh1 billion in Eldoret and Kisumu respectively. Very expensive undertaking by any standards! Not to so much money to Kardashian, who considers herself as a “proud Armenian”.