I have a colleague whose wife is heavily pregnant, in fact, her due date passed two days ago. He calmly sits in the office and leaves at the usual time, despite the fast arriving visitor to his home. I always urge him to go home early, just in case his wife needs him for anything. He never takes me seriously.
It occurred to me that he may not really understand what the coming of a new baby, a whole new person to his family is really about. As a man, he will never really understand the sacrifices and changes that his wife will have to make in order to raise that child.
We say that motherhood changes everything, but do we really understand the magnitude of what everything is? It’s not only about the physical aspects of a woman that are forever altered by the state of motherhood, but their whole being.
On Tuesday, I was treated to lunch that did not sit well with me. I was in so much pain and discomfort by the time I got home that evening, that I did not want anything to do with my child. I hardly had enough energy to get home in the first place, let alone dealing with an energy-packed toddler.
Thank God my mother was there. She told me to relax, she would handle the baby. She brought the baby to me much later in the night – fed, changed and fast asleep.
Had she not been there, I would have had to deal with my baby, possibly my husband and any other person or thing in the household that needed attending to. No one would have really cared about what I was going through.
Being a mother is a joy: looking into those tiny little faces and seeing ourselves; hearing for the first time the word “Mama”; and looking forward to the days and years ahead, fills our hearts with indescribable joy.
However, taking care of these little ones is taxing. Every woman who longs for the joys must be very aware of the backbreaking work that comes with it.
On Monday, before my bout of sickness, I realized how much of my life I have had to adjust for my little girl to fit in. In fact, all I seem to do nowadays revolves solely around her. She is my sun.
Before, I would wake up, shower quickly, maybe grab a quick bite and I’d be off to work. Now, I have to make sure that she has all her meals ready in the morning (I don’t want excuses as to why the baby was not fed), her clothes are well laundered, and ready to wear and that she lacks for nothing.
Whenever I contemplate quitting my job to just become a lazy lay about, I look at her and wonder how we will be able to afford the good life we want to give her.
I examined my life and all the ways it has changed since I became a mother. I have to work harder, I have to be more patient, I have to accommodate a lot more people in my life, for her sake.
Before you take the bold step to become a mother, know this: your life will no longer be your own, nor your time, nor your resources. You will channel them towards your children, to give them the very best this world can offer.
If you are the selfish type, just know, this is not for you. You will be expected to give and keep giving without getting anything in return. For years. The truly bizarre thing about all this is that, if you are cut out for it, it will be the best and most fulfilling experience ever.