Today’s column is aimed directly at Kirinyaga deputy governor Mr Peter Ndambiri, who is going through perhaps what is the most difficult time of his life.
Mr Ndambiri, I am sure you have received enough opprobrium to last you a lifetime, so I will not cast another stone like the other angels out here living perfect lives and have never committed any sin.
I am afraid today I am going to offer you some unsolicited advice.
1. The truth: I have listened to you cock and bull winding story where you unsuccessfully attempted to explain yourself. You say that you went to inspect a property that you wanted to buy and a gang of goons rained on you, forced you to undress (next to the poor woman) and filmed you. Well, I don’t believe your story and more than I believe Mike Sonko will fix Nairobi. Your story sounds silly and made up, and it only makes you look ridiculous.
Man up, Mr Ndambiri and admit the painful truth. You got caught cheating, and your downfall was televised. My advice is that you come clean. First of all, you must tell your wife the whole truth and nothing but the truth not for any other reason, but because it is the least you owe her, given the pain and humiliation you have put her through.
Remember, Mr Ndambiri, that the truth is like sunshine, it always comes out.
2. The children: You think you have been humiliated? Think again. Think about what your poor kids must be going through right now. My hunch is that they don’t want to see you right now because they are experiencing a rage towards their father that they thought they would never feel — and with good reason. Your children have probably lost their respect for you, and chances are this tragedy will permanently damage them. But as an optimist, I see some hope.
Allow the tempers to cool off first, then begin to rebuild. For now, protect them by all means. No phones, no television, no computers. Don’t allow them to go through toxic social media or leave them near toxic friends or relatives. Ensure your children maintain a routine, schools are opening next week so let them go to school no matter how difficult that might be. Don’t allow them to sit at home and ruminate over what you have done.
Get counselling for them and I insist that you sit in some of those sessions and answer their many questions. What awaits you Mr Ndambiri is a long and painful journey of rebuilding your relationship with your children, so brace yourself for rejection, resentment, tears, and sulking. I am positive that your family will pull through this and emerge stronger.
3. The wife: This is a tough one. I should be advising her, not you, and sending her a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, but lucky for you, I don’t have her address.
4. Forgive yourself: To earn the forgiveness of your family and friends is going to be the easy part. Forgiving yourself will be the most difficult thing you will have to do. It might even take you years. So how do you forgive yourself? It is all in the mind, Mr Ndambiri.
This could either break you or make you. You could choose to let this be your end or you could do the brave thing and make it your turning point. You could come out of this stronger or you could let it destroy you. The day you begin to think of this misfortune as a blessing in disguise, as a wake up call to better things, is the day you will begin to heal and finally, you could forgive yourself.
5. The job: When some of our leaders were making fun, albeit subtly, about your situation with regards to the “24-hour economy”, your boss smiled graciously like other guests. Don’t be fooled, Mr Ndambiri. I have a feeling that your boss is not impressed, and neither are the people of Kirinyaga.
My advice to you here, mheshimiwa is that the honourable thing to do is to resign. Tender your resignation as soon as you read this column and cite the following; you are resigning because your actions did not portray servant leadership and you would like to take some time off to spend time with your family. Thank Ms Waiguru for giving you an opportunity to work with her, and thank the people of Kirinyaga for allowing you to serve them. Wish your county well and exit stage.