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Spare us your motivational quotes when you break up


There is a popular Kenyan saying that goes ‘pambana na hali yako.’ It means deal with your private problems by your own instead of roping in other people for support and sympathy.

This saying can be applied to different people at different times. But you know who it should be applied to all the time? Couples who break up!

Not once, not twice or a hundred times have we seen people begin to post quotes about hope and staying strong without any warning or prior notice.

This is usually right after pictures of them with their sweethearts disappear from their timelines. Yes, this practice is more common among people who like showing off their lovers on social media.

You know the people who are always ‘chilling with bae?’ That’s what they always appear to be doing. The photos and videos they post are endless. You can’t help but wonder whether they work, go to school or just do other things. They post about their lovers so much that you begin to wonder if your own relationship is genuine.

LOVE TURNED SOUR

I bet when such people were asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” when they were kids, they didn’t say they want to be pilots of doctors, they responded with “I want to be a bae.” And bae they became.

When the sweet love unceremoniously comes to a halt, the love gurus are known for miraculously acquiring the gift of writing. Yes, even that person on your timeline whose posts are always full of typos or the one who only posts in Sheng, Swahili or vernacular suddenly becomes a literature guru.

They start posting well-articulated motivational paragraphs, poems and short stories about their sweet love turned sour. In the short stories, they mainly lambast their former lovers, calling them heartless and useless. Sometimes they use stereotypes like ‘all men are dogs’ or ‘women are evil.’

Such people should always handle their heartbreak and relationship termination in peace. They should not force us all to share in their pain. We weren’t there during your good times so kindly don’t include us in your bad times. Just go cry in a corner until tear ducts dry up like Nairobi taps then move on with your business.

GRIEVE BREAKUPS

We have our own problems to deal with. Like washed-up artiste DNA once famously rapped “ Sisi tuna shida zetu, tuskize zako kwa nini?”

Even worse, the less creative ones copy these motivational quotes from various websites online and post them. I mean, who are you posting them for?

We are not the ones who were dumped. Read them on your own and find the inspiration you need. Us we are good.

I really don’t understand why people publicly grieve breakups either. If I break up with someone, only two or three people will know. The rest will be finding out months later when they ask “Kwani Caro alienda wapi? Sijawaona pamoja siku mob.” And I happily say “Ah! Huyo tuliachana kitambo. Saa hizi niko na Mwende.” After all, by announcing, you are only giving your detractors a chance to dance and celebrate.

Let us keep some of our affairs private. Motivational quotes aren’t going to help you forget your ex and heal from heartbreak. You will only do so by analyzing your mistakes, switching your mind and keeping yourself busy.