I thought I knew it all the last time I penned the lessons that motherhood had taught me since I started this journey a year and a half ago. In the process I learned something else, that you can never know everything and that every day is a learning opportunity.
Another valuable gem that I have picked up along the way is the value of patience and tolerance. As a mum, there will be so many tests of our patience that words cannot describe.
From judgy judgy characters that can see nothing good in how you raise your little one to the tantrums and mood swings of the little ones themselves, I have faced and continue to face these daily.
With patience comes a slowness in words and anger. These have been learnt in response to the earlier described occurrences. An instance that I have chosen silence instead of a verbal confrontation actually happened this past weekend.
SLOWNESS TO ANGER
On Saturday morning, I noticed that the house help had tried plaiting my little girl’s hair. There was a very thin braid at the front of her head and she did not want me to touch it, leave alone undoing it. I am averse to salons myself, I find the experience, painful and mostly unnecessary, so I do not believe in putting my little one through something that I hate myself.
So seeing the solo braid on her head, made me annoyed, especially since I had explained that her head should just be left alone. I called her out on this, though she seemed like she wanted to deny that she had done anything of the sort.
My point about patience and slowness to anger comes here.
In the evening, I came back home and noticed that the braid had gone, but the hair was much shorter than the rest of the surrounding mane. I was so mad that had that girl been nearby I think I would have hit her.
How could she cut my baby’s hair? I was furious, I was shaking. I took a deep breath, and weighed the options. Shout and scream and then what would that solve?
FAMILY IS PRECIOUS
I decided to keep quiet. The anger passed, I’m still disappointed by her actions, but will tell her about it when I am even calmer.
Another lesson that being a mum has taught me is that motherhood comes with a whole lot of responsibilities, and not just mothering your baby. It requires sacrificing your comfort for the needs of others.
It also means hosting a whole bunch of people in your house, once you become three or more, this includes house helps and relatives. Long gone will be the lazy weekends when you would strut around your house in underwear, or worse, your birthday suit. The comfort of others will trump your own.
Speaking of relatives, I have realized that family is precious, both real blood and acquired family. The lengths that some people would go for me was made clear when I became a mum. Also, people’s real motives are made evident at this time. It is a two-sided coin, not all is positive and rosy.
As I continue on this journey, I will make sure to heed to lesson learnt and continue learning in this never-ending school called life.