ETEMESI

ETEMESI: Let’s talk about Kenyans and their annoying YouTube comments

A man watches videos on YouTube from his desktop computer. FILE PHOTO
A man watches videos on YouTube from his desktop computer. FILE PHOTO
In the comment sections of YouTube videos, I tend to come across all types of weird people posting weird comments.

In the modern day era of the internet, YouTube has become one of the most satisfying platforms to visit. Data is no longer as pricey as Picasso’s art hence the average Kenyan can at least manage to watch a couple of videos a day.

Most of the content on YouTube is entertaining and addictive but the problem lies in the comments.

In the comment sections of YouTube videos, I tend to come across all types of weird people posting weird comments. I’m sure you’ve seen them too.

The most annoying type of people I find on YouTube are the ones who keep stating “I am the 1st viewer, wapi likes zangu?” or “I am here before 1000 views. Yaaay.”

Do you want a medal now that you watched the video early? You want us to clap for you?

THE LIKES

Sorry, I forgot you said you want likes. Wow! Of all the things a human being can want in this world, you want likes. What exactly are you planning to do with the likes? Eat them? Will you take them to the forex bureau and convert them to money? Tell us please.

If only these people had the same kind of zeal in school, they would be nuclear scientists or extraordinary code developers earning tons of money right now. They wouldn’t even be having the time to comment on YouTube.

Oops, did I hurt your feelings? Of course I did. No one cares that you were first. And that’s the bottom line.

There are the sycophants too. Call them the hardcore fanboys and fangirls. According to them, everything their favorite artiste or comedian posts is funny.

“Hii ni kali sana” they will praise the celebrity in question even if whatever has been posted is as boring as a Sunday without electricity. Try to state that the content sucks and the sycophants will descend on you like Navy Seals on an Al Qaeda leader’s secret compound.

ANNOYING TYPES

The other most annoying types of Kenyans that keep infiltrating the comment section of every video are the roll call people.

“Wangapi wanawatch wakisoma comments kama mimi?” they will ask.

Sometimes they will want to know who is watching from their location. They’ll say “Wangapi wanawach from coast kama mimi?”

Be quiet. You want to know so that you do what? Invite them or lunch? I bet these are the kind of people that can’t do anything alone. They only feel nice when they see other people doing the same thing as them. What happened to being unique?

There is also new types of comment that have emerged. You will often find them on funny videos. The comments usually state “Walai ile heaven utaona ni mtoto wa Bahati pekee,” or “Mbinguni utaionea kwa Viusasa pekee.”

NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

These comments were funny the very first time they came about but now everyone who isn’t a fan of thinking is copy-pasting them and making me want to throw my phone to the ground.

Then there are the slay queens who notice everything else apart from the quality of the content. They notice the good looks, the fashion sense or the beard first.

They go on to express their love or the artiste or comedian hoping he notices but he never does. They are simply talking to themselves. How unfortunate.

I am sure you have encountered other types of weird people in the comment sections too. There are many like the nostalgic person who misses the old version of an artiste and hates the new one or the regretful earthling who keeps saying “nimewaste bundles zangu kuwatch hii upuzi.”

At this point, since there is already a KFCB, we need a KCCB (Kenya Comments Classification Board). We need it bad.



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