ETEMESI

ETEMESI: We are tired of hearing about your new car

PHOTO | FILE
PHOTO | FILE

First-time car owners need to come slow. Have you noticed how they can’t complete a single sentence without including the words ‘my car.’

You ask them “How are you doing?” and they respond with “I am good but my car had issues jana maze. I am now in the garage.” Or “How is work?” and they respond with “Work is good. I am actually stepping out of my car and heading to the office.”

Who asked about your car? From morning to evening it’s the same old song of ‘my car ……..my car…..my car’. We get it, you acquired a new ride. So what?

YES-MAN SYNDROME

Some of my friends actually fall into this category. But you know me, I take no prisoners. I am not a yes-man. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines a yes-man as someone who cheers on their friends, leaders or anyone close to them even when they do or say something silly. I am not such a person.

I can even tell my father when he is wrong. Of course, he might bark at me or smack me in the face but I’ll tell him anyway.

Another phrase that first-time car owners like to use is “I’m driving.” These people are always driving. There is rarely a time when they are not driving. Where are you going to? Antarctica? Your journey never ends.

I understand that some form of excitement comes with owning a car for the first time in your life. But tone it down a little, will you? One or two photos on social media are enough. All your posts and Instagram stories don’t have to be about your car.

If it was a Lamborghini Murciélago or a Bugatti Chiron, we would understand if you kept talking about it all the time. Lakini sasa tu ni ile Honda Fit yenye ulinunua na loan. We know you still have 30 months left to clear that loan. Don’t disturb our peace. Regulate your enthusiasm, please.

LITTLE MONEY

I know what you want to ask me right now. You want to say “Sasa venye unaongea mbaya, iko wapi yako?” I don’t have one. In fact, I am going to the stage to struggle for a matatu after finishing this article. Yes, I am one of those people who opted to buy a ploti instead of a car when I got some little money.

It wasn’t an easy decision. I could be calling Njeris every Friday and saying “Where are you? I can come and pick you up in my car.” Instead, I have to deal with the “Kwani haunanga gari?” questions.

Of course, ploti people like me hate you new car owners. We always feel we are wiser than you. Why invest in depreciating assets instead of appreciating assets? We are better than you guys, whether you admit it or not. Hehe.

Do you see us posting pictures of hear us telling everyone we bought a 40 by 80 piece? Well, I just told everyone but do you hear other land-owners like me telling everyone? No. So, behave yourselves.

Now, if you have both a ploti and a new car, you are good. This rant is not about you at all. Congratulations on your success by the way. Tell us your secrets.

GO EASY

But you first-time car owners need to go easy. I know sijawaambia poa but tukikutana msininyime lift. What do they say again? Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In the same spirit, don’t hate the writer, hate the article.

Now, which one of you first-time car buyers wants to grab a drink? I am buying.

About the author

PHILIP ETEMESI



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