ETEMESI

ETEMESI: Stop sending money to your mothers!

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It’s easy to notice how people always feel proud about sending money to their mothers. Some even brag about it. They’ll tell their spouses, friends and anyone who cares to listen that they sent some dough to mummy.

To avoid dishing out money for other things, people even love to use the phrase “Pesa nilikua nayo hata nimetumia mama yangu juzi.”

There are those who even send their moms money for selfish reasons. They don’t send because they have a tickling desire to help, they send to seek blessings. They feel that the more mullah they channel via M-Pesa, the more blessings they will get. It’s kind of a trade. I like to call them ‘Blessing Hunters’.

They have the precision too. They know which exact amounts will make their mothers dance and ululate. They know which exact amounts will make their mothers kneel, raise their hands and say “Mungu bariki mtoto wangu kabisa. Muongeze zaidi.”

WHAT ABOUT FATHERS?

That’s fine. At least they make an effort to send. There are those who never bother. But the bigger question is – what about fathers?

Kenyans rarely send money to their fathers. They just don’t see it as important. Aren’t fathers capable of blessings too? Don’t they have things to buy or services to pay for?

Some might argue that humans generally tend to cherish their mothers more than their fathers and that’s why there is this fiscal bias. Mothers are known to show more concern and fervor than fathers hence they are easy to associate with.

When it comes to the quintessence of parenting, mothers also appear always to put in more work hence when a child morphs into an adult, they’ll appreciate what their mother did for them more than what their father did. Not to forget that mums are more present too.

Most of us grew up terrified of our dads because they never wore their hearts out on their sleeves. They were buttoned up emotionally and we feared them like headmasters.

TYPICAL FATHER

A typical father is always busy with mashughuli and when he is at home, he is the Duke of Fix-It, taking care of anything that’s wrong in the house and the Lord of newspaper reading. He isn’t always available, even when he is present physically.

However, the effort that fathers put in is stealth and tends to go unnoticed. Fathers put in a lot of work chini ya maji. Your dad might not have been there all the time as you grew up but he provided great leadership and also contributed a lot financially.

Men tend to inject more money into their families than women. Why then should they get the least returns from their children?

So long as your father has always been there and he never ever neglected your family, he needs to be appreciated.

We cannot blame fathers for not appearing as caring as mothers. Fathers generally need to be tough in order to keep their children in line. If fathers treated children more tenderly, they would be showing their tolerant side and that would open a dangerous pandora’s box.

WORK EXTRA HARD

A child wouldn’t care about performing well in school for example if they knew that they would come home and both mom and dad would be okay with the bad results. Personally, I used to work extra hard in school because I knew I couldn’t take a report form with poor grades to my father.

So, the next time you want to send money to your parents, don’t just key in your mother’s number. This time, type your father’s number. You probably haven’t crammed it like you have with your mum’s but just check it up.

If you are a man, you should in fact refrain from neglecting your father financially because you usually wouldn’t want your child to do the same to you when they are older.

You could always alternate. Make it a see-saw. When you send money to your mom this month, you send to your dad next time. The love of both parents is vital. A father is capable of giving you blessings too and more importantly, he needs the love of a child.

Send money to daddy today and put a smile on his face.

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