I totally loved the article What Men Think of Thick Curvy Mamas which was recently published here on Nairobi News. Women are the epitome of beauty and I agree, thick women really do cause eyes to turn. I mean the curves and all. Legit!
So what if you are not thick? Or if you resemble a mshikaki somewhere in the street dawned in tights? Are you safe from team mafisi sacco? Do you get whispers? I highly doubt.
But moving forward, I was shocked to find out that if you fall in the skinny category, you, my friend, should respond to the unflattering moniker ‘laptop’. How I found this out is a story I’m never telling.
Apparently, you are termed a laptop because you are presumed to be highly flexible, easy to carry around and easy to manipulate into any body position.
Its an irony that the ‘laptop’ may fails to receive the annoying whispers on the streets but is still regarded flexible and ‘safe’ behind closed doors whereas Ms Thick, seem highly unsafe in the public eye yet she calls the shots in the bedroom.
Speaking which, in the case of under performance in the bedroom, who is to blame? Is it the women or the men? And how exactly do you measure under performance? Isn’t it a fact that some men can be a little bit selfish in the bedroom? After 4 minutes, you my dear queen of thick or thee crowned laptop, neither your needs nor your presence matter anymore.
Let us be honest, women in general face serious stereotype for just being women. If you’re thick you earn the little compliment of ‘anaweza’ while if you’re skinny you are automatically labelled a ‘laptop.’
It gets worse for skinny women. They are generally perceived to be flexible, able and willing to contort themselves at themselves at the whims of their sexual partners.
It’s a cruel world outside here and it gets me wondering. Why are we not body naming these men as well?
Can we ladies honestly just brainstorm on this. I mean, ‘laptops’ come in wide ranges, some brands authentic and other non-authentic.
So dear man, take care and choose your body poison wisely. Do not go street whispering if you cannot handle thick and do not go finding a laptop if your body shapes resembles that of a pumpkin.