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LifeWhat's Hot

My precious girl, let me teach you life’s lessons

Lately, it seems that I have been feeling this idea of writing letters to people in my future.

Today, I write a letter to my daughter, giving her important nuggets of wisdom that will come in handy once she is my age.

It is not exactly a letter, but a list of great pieces of advice that she will find handy someday when she is 24-years-old.

1. In this world, you are either beautiful or brainy. Some are lucky, they have both. Learn to use your beauty to open doors. Beautiful girls can get away with being pea-brained.

2. Be confident: Confident girls are attractive and intimidating. The world only bullies those who look unsure and gullible.

3. Men: They will always come and go. They come in different wallet sizes and body shapes. Pick the wealthiest. If he has a six-pack, you lucky girl!

4. Never chase a man: It cheapens you. Let him chase you. And when he gets you, introduce competition to show him that he is not the only one, and he will stick on you like an eel.

5. Have fun, you are young: They say ‘ujana ni maji ya moto’, (youth is like hot water), now you see it, now you don’t.

6. Get a job before you are 20 and start earning your own money: Independence is key; nobody will tell you what to do.

7. Move out while you are still young: Living alone is the best thing that could ever happen to you. Live according to your means.

8 Never let a man pay your rent: He will dictate who comes to your house. Your house, your rent, your guests, at your own time.

9. Learn to cook a few meals: This is the only way to a man’s heart…

10. Go to school, finish your degree: There is something about girls who have dropped out of school but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

11. Steer clear of married men: Unless he is marrying you as a second wife, there is nothing glamorous about being a ‘clande’.

12. Always look good: We don’t want you looking drab when you meet your husband to be.

13. A pretty girl never goes broke: Learn to use your charm.

14. Alcohol: I have mixed feelings about this one. I don’t do alcohol, never have, never will. Imagine the stench of liquor on a woman’s mouth. Yuck! It is your choice though.

15. Dating: Date three or four men at the same time. You are not being a slut; men do it too, all the time. Besides, variety is the spice of life.

16. Date upwards, not downwards: Never date a man below your pay grade. Date a man who challenges you to be better.

17. On relationships: Guard your heart. Learn to move on quickly, and don’t languish over spilt milk. There are very many suitors in this world.

18. Sex: A beautiful thing. Enjoy it. Don’t ask me if you have to use it to get your dream job. That is your choice.

19. It is not wrong to accept gifts from men: car, then you deserve it!

20. Always carry a condom in your purse; you never know when you will get lucky.

21. If you are going to have a baby, choose the genes wisely: The goal here is to have ‘designer babies’.

22. Don’t smoke weed or cigarettes: I think it also appropriate to tell you not to do drugs, at all.

23. Friends: make the world a better place to be, but friends in high places make the world go round.

24. Avoid tattoos: and piercings especially in your nether regions. They are not cute. They are just plain stupid.

25. Posting nudes: on social media is suicidal.

26. Learn to love yourself: The most important person in this world is you.