Nairobi News

LifeWhat's Hot

Men, lose the pot belly or lose our love

Dear men,

Potbellies make you look pregnant. They make you look like an ugly baby hippo or a bloated fool. You look heavy and unattractive.

Women admire men, and we do it all the time. We Google topless photos of Dan Adongo, a Kenyan player in the American National Football Leage, and gawk at God’s amazing creation.

Locally, we admire Wilson Munene, a smoking hot model who understands what it is for a man to take care of himself.

A man who knows what a woman requires of a man’s body. A real man! Of course, this is my ‘hot-list’, which I will admit varies from woman to woman. 

Embarrassed

So imagine our disappointment when a man, shows up with a stomach bulge the size of an African pot. 

Most women will not tell you this, but we are embarrassed by your potbellies. We are embarrassed at the thought that you have let yourself go so bad, that you don’t care about your appearance. 

Just like men demand high standards from women when it comes to looks, we also demand that you lose that potbelly. 

If you are a man below 40 years and my father’s flat belly would put yours to shame, then my friend you need to style up. 

If you are the kind that has to lift a mass of flesh (read stomach) to unzip or belt up, then you need to be ashamed of yourself!

A man must not have stretch marks on his belly or have love handles (rings) in the place of a waist. A man must not, scratch that, must never, have a bigger bra size than his wife’s. 

Watch the kilos

A man must never possess a behind that puts his wife’s to shame. It is an abomination for a man’s weight to be over 100kgs. 

It’s just not right. So, if you are the kind that has hips and thighs that put Kim Kardashian’s to shame, I suggest you hit the gym as soon as possible.

Ditch that bottle of beer in your hand right now and be done with nyama choma for the next six months. 

Work out, tone your body and make yourself look desirable. You cannot be fat, ugly and possibly broke. You must choose a struggle. 

At least, have something women would want to write home about. Just look good, then we will not Google topless images of Idris Elba or Shemar Moore.