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Memorable ‘quotes’ which Mugabe never uttered

Robert Mugabe is no longer the President of Zimbabwe having been forced out of power by his long term ally and current President, Emmerson Mnangagwa, in a palace coup last month.

That said, Uncle Bob, will be fondly remembered for many things, including his open dislike for the British, and his strong grasp of the Queen’s Language.

So much so that social media recently went abuzz with the so-called “Mugabe quotes” attributed to the 93-year-old former president, but which in reality he never uttered

1. Girls’ legs are like rumours… they spread any how.

2. Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time. They will say: “My Love, meet My Sweet heart. And the two idiots will say “Bossu, how far?”

3. Some of you girls can’t even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for two hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade!

4. It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad, or a factory in China catches fire!

5. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you’re lying on his chest, then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face!

6. No sex before marriage??? If that was God’s plan you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day!

7. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a ​girlfriend​!

8. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty, because we don’t walk around with X-rays.

9. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex!

10. Dear sisters, don’t be deceived by a man who text you: “I miss you” only when it’s raining… you are not an umbrella!

11. Obama: Mugabe, wisdom and money which one will you go for?

Mugabe: I will take money

Obama: But I will go for wisdom

Mugabe: Well, everyone will go for what he lacks!