Nairobi News


My Matatu Chronicles: Love at first sight

Over the past week I have been disappointed by my mutura guy; the size of Sh20 mutura reduces by the day.

Yesterday, I handed him cash and told him ‘kama kawaida’ (my evenings with mutura as I walk home are more than a ritual) but honestly I hadn’t actually started enjoying the African sausage with its mix gather them delicacy (viungoz) inside than I have already done.

This is actually something I’m looking into doing research over the about size reduction.

That mutura wasn’t part of the story today but my fingers couldn’t stop typing the disappointment but here is why I’m here.

So yesterday I was knackered a good one and all I wanted was to get to that mathree, secure a sitting position next to the window and ‘left group’ as in nikashike kabisa and for the sake of the bushy ooh sorry ‘Boujee’ kids I mean ‘sleep in the mararu’.

Securing that wasn’t a problem but the person who decided to join me was my worry. He was a bit tall yet rugged and had a backpack.

He made a few glances that made me suspicious and this did not stop so my dear educated peeps is how the relationship between me and my sleep was ruined.


I stayed awake all through and actually held my handbag even closer and tighter. Not that I envisioned him as a thief, but this is Nairobi, anything and everything can happen. (I know you feel me, kama wigs/weaves kwa kichwa zinaenda, je begi?) apologies.

I don’t know the difference between wig and weave it seems I have disappointed the girl child.

Anyway, the glances didn’t stop and I was so happy when I saw Kinoo market at a stone throw and I took a deep breath. Sigh! Finally, I’m at my area code.

I made gestures that I wanted to alight and he too got interested and also alighted with me.

This was disturbing, he followed me and angrily I turned and asked what he wanted (Don’t forget I did that since there were people on the road, otherwise on a normal day I would have already peed on myself, like literally.)

He broke the silence and told me he couldn’t resist looking at me, that I was beautiful and a force inside him told him it’s me he has been waiting for all this time.


He apologised for scaring me saying that he just wanted my number and the rest will take a natural course  until I get to know him and fall in love with him eventually, because he was ready to sweep me off my feet and bring all the razzmatazz that comes with the word ‘love’.

Wow!! First of all I didn’t have a comeback, I was speechless and at the back of my head I was like he had too much guts, leave alone that already visualized script by him.

I gave him my number anyway as people had begun staring at us almost gathering (yaani yaani watu wa gichagi na muchene).

I bet the mama soko’s and watu wa butchery hapo stage had a story for the evening. As I completed my journey home I recalled my friend Ashley had been ‘katiwaad’ by this ki guy who claimed has been following her for a month and it scared the sh*t out of her.

Have you ever had a stalker? I know most of us ladies enjoy that and the chase it comes with, but it gets to a point it’s too scary and creepy.

Deep Sigh! I’m still in awe and much confusion because this guy has started calling me ‘sweerie’, ‘hunny’ and ‘my love’ on texts even after ignoring his calls and chats.

To say the least this is not the ‘Future husband I imagined and prayed for so please remember me in your prayers.’