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LifeWhat's Hot

Dear men, no ring to the under performer!


Where there is good coffee, a couple of friends, please do know there is relationship gossip! Recently I was having a session with my friends, one of whom is engaged and constantly insists that I should be her ‘best man’.

I’m not sure what’s more insulting in this situation. Me, feeling sorry for her, for giving up her freedom or her asking me to pose as a best man, despite the fact that I have a thing against weddings. Too many lies in it and many fake it in a white dress but that is a story I’m telling very soon.

Amidst our conversation, one of our very nosey friend noticed that our soon to be bride seemed unhappy. I like my nosey friend for one thing, her greed for information is on a level that no man dead or alive could fathom. Such friends are for keeps! Best advise I will ever give you.

Back to our unhappy bride, who at this moment seemed very ready to let the cat out of the basket. “I do not think I can do this with him… you guys are not allowed to judge me!” I sip my coffee encouraging her to go on. Who does not love gossip man or woman alike.

She further went on to confess that her and her fiance had recently had so much to drink and ended up spending the night together. I would judge a normal couple by asking what happened to the promise of waiting till marriage but knowing the world today, I’d rather not. Clearly, she was not upset by the breaking of the promise. Could have been something bigger or perhaps something was small.

BAD SEX

She added that whilst the man was her ‘prince charming in shining armour’ there was no way she could stomach bad sex for the rest of her life. In her own words’ I’d rather be poor, than unsatisfied.’

I know many women who will strongly disagree to this. Some will say, stay in the marriage, once you steal all the money baby girl vamoose!

This baby girl is rather different. This did come as a surprise to me. I hang around women alot and most of their conversation always revolve around the kind of man they’d prefer to be with, (do know the bald and bearded are winning, just a tip). I can tell you for fact my friend had landed her dream not so bald prince, rich, fancy, broad all the kinds of extra but for her to say no, then that means sex in a woman’s life is pretty vital. I mean very vital.

This made me reallize there is a thin line between a rich handsome not so good in bed guy and a broke not so good looking but extremely good in bed. The latter is the kind that will send his girl to date a rich man ‘sponsor’ so they could share the money and the girl will do ‘as the dominant commands’.

Now I understand why, some women prefer a ‘good body treatment’ than a ‘good bank treatment’. Such women deserve a round of applause for being real and rare.

UNDER PERFORMANCE

Though these particular ladies, dear men, fall in a category where they are fit to pay their own bills, buy their own cars, furnish their own houses and bring food to the table. So your only work is to serve right in the bedroom. Failure to that, you and the door my fellow brethren will be officially betrothed.

To my dear men with looks and a nice wallet, if your bedroom game ain’t as strong. Kaka RIP! Your wallet will be minimized by those who can stomach your under performance but your heart will grow webs for no SHE will want to live in it.

It’s a cruel world outside here and everybody wants something ‘good’ from somebody. To such men, we cannot be blessed in all sectors, so whatever blessing you have big or small, kindly use it smartly. Do not accept to be called an under performer whether in your bank game or bed skills.

I’m here to tell you the truth, just like how I’m about to tell my friend that she might need to learn to stomach the under performance. One she is still wearing the engagement ring and two she is currently asking the best cake to serve in her wedding. Yes, I did agree to be the best man. Her fiance and I are yet to have a talk!

And that’s women for you.