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Ladies, how to spot the man who will never marry you

You have been looking for a serious guy who is ready to settle down. So far, your dream has not come to fruition. The men you date may either show no interest in getting serious, or even if they do, they do not propose as fast as you think they should.

At some point you have been left wondering if you are really marriage material, and why no man will want to marry you. Wonder no more!

According to Dr Chris Hart, a psychologist based in Nairobi and the author of Single & Searching, any man that you date will portray a host of signs that will betray his willingness or unwillingness to marry you.

The forever young guy: To begin with, marriage will hardly be on the card if the men you go out with are way younger than you or much older.

“Men in the wrong age bracket will either be heading towards becoming permanent bachelors or too young to handle the responsibility of a marriage,” he says.

Additionally, according to Valerie Golden, a psychologist and the author of Pituitary Disorders, even if he’s the right age, he can only marry you if he acts his age. For instance, she says, alarm bells should go off if he is pushing 50 but is always out clubbing with his 20-year-old acquaintances.

The not-into-you guy: This might be a bitter pill to swallow. He may be very interested in getting married, but he does not consider you a marriage choice.

According to Dr. Hart, such a man will put up with you being around him until he finds the one who ticks his boxes.

“You’ll be an enjoyable part of his life, but he’ll be aware that you’re not the one,” he points out.

His sentiments are echoed by Jane Greer, a marriage therapist and the author of What About Me? According to her, you must take care to tone down any fantasies that you are going to be the special woman who will lead him down the aisle. “Such men may be willing to remain in the committed relationship until (someone they want to marry comes along),” she says.

The stuck-on-the-ex guy: A man who is not over an ex-partner will not be keen on marrying you. According to Golden, you should be able to spot such a character from the start. He will try to convert you into a replica of his ex-girlfriend and will use his ex as your bench mark.

The chase guy: According to Golden, this kind of date will be into you as long as you’re not into them.

“He’s smooth and romantic right up until the moment they win you over,” she says, adding that with their art of seduction, such men revel in their ability to conquer.

“It all fizzles out as soon as you reciprocate his love, admiration and attraction,” she says.

Dr. Hart adds that he may not consider marrying you if he is addicted to falling in love. One of the key indicators a man is addicted to repeatedly falling in love is a record of too many short relationships.

Quick takeaway

According to Dr. Hart, your antenna should go up if your partner fronts cohabitation as an alternative for marriage.  He may tell you that he doesn’t want to end the ‘good thing that you have’.

“In such cases, your relationship is likely to be unstable, because wanting to cohabit often goes along with not being fully committed,” says Dr. Hart.