Just how do Nairobi wives prepare their husbands for bed? Responses are hilarious
A member of Kilimani Mums Facebook group caused a storm after she asked city women to share tips on how to prepare husbands for bed.
The member had posted; “Wives, how do you prepare your hubby before alale?”
What followed was a series of husband-mocking comments. Some said they bath their better halves, apply oil on their bodies and then soothe them to sleep.
Other women were blunt, wondering if husbands are babies to be prepared for bed.
Here are some of the hilarious comments.
PUT HIM TO BED
“Namfunga napkins, namvalisha mittens then I put him in bed.”
“Namuosha, nampaka mafuta, namvalisha rompers (read dimíaga) na pampers ndani, namsomea story, ananyonya, analala…akikosa naeza imba lullaby…NKT”
“Yeye huingia late saa Saba… So na prepare mlango sifungi, food juu ya meza na maji. Mimi na lala akisha kuja atapata nime-mprepare.”
“Niamke asubuhi kumprepare aende kazi alafu jioni nimprepare alale kwani usingizi ni yangu…before tupatane who did to him ai? Bora nihakikishe amekula super, ameoga na amebrush akiskia kulala bila nguo ama alale nazo ako kwake na usingizi ni yake.”
“Just start asking about that chic he is flirting with in his phonebook he will get sleepy instantly, fall into a deep sleep and not disturb you till morning.”
“We brush our teeth together, bath together then kaboooom.”
“Ehe!!! Ilikuwa avalishwe pampers na apakiwe Vaseline mob kwa rasa??????? Abeg my sister let everyone sleep when sleepy.”
“First anakula, nampanguza na maji warm, I brush him, namfunga pampers, ananyonya nikimwimbia lullaby and in the process analala, namwekelea kwa kitanda polepole asiamke…Hehehe.”
“Is it mtoto nitatayarisha ama it’s the father, issa no no, na akipata usingizi alale.”
“Namvalisha suti na viatu ndio asubuhi akiamka ni kwenda tu job loool.”
“I change him to pyjamas, then I give him warm water in his munyonyi ,then I carry him on my back with a leso as I wash my utensils…when I am through washing the utensils I take him to bed coz analalanga nikiosha vyombo….Mwanamke ni kujitolea kulaza mumewe????.”