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NAIROBI WIFE: What good thing can you take out of your relationship?

Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, “What did I do to deserve you?”

My husband and I will be celebrating our second year of marriage and eight years together in total later this month. I have been reflecting on our relationship and looking at how far we have come.

I recently reminded him what we were doing at a time like this two years ago, the kind of fights we were having and the things we were worrying about.

What we were thinking of at the time was getting enough money to pull off our wedding. It was such a big issue then that I remember threatening to call off the whole thing. My then fiancé was so patient that he just reassured me that all would be well… and it was! Here we are now.

It was in such instances that I asked myself the question above and wondered if he would change, if it was just a façade. I was curious to see how he would cope with such issues in future, if he would still keep his cool or if I would finally get to see his true colours.


Two years in, I think this is the real deal. I’m still wondering what I did to be blessed with such a person.

On a popular radio station, women were dared to state that their men are good and they have nothing to complain about. One came out and said that he was perfect. Her comments were immediately taken for naivety, that he was just hiding what he really is and that she would probably go on a murderous rampage when she found out the truth.

What I believe is that that man is not perfect. I believe that her husband is perfect… for her.

My own husband is a person with flaws, but his good side outshines the negatives.

A person whom I have not spoken to in the last four years recently approached me. He told me how he is having a hard time, how he needs money… I wondered why he would ask me for money, yet he has never even said hi since our interactions came to an end. Kwani, he doesn’t have friends? After all, we are basically acquaintances.


Then I thought about what my husband would do. He would have just sent him money without really thinking about it and maybe would have mentioned it in passing to me later on.

I have never understood him, probably never will. He is a better person than me, by far. He is generous, patient, much kinder with his words and very slow to anger. I am the opposite. So I wonder, how did I land such a person?

I think I should just stop questioning it and just go with the flow. Instead, I should work on emulating him, if not for myself, at least so that our daughter will have two positive role models to shape her life and her character.

In a relationship, I think it is important to find someone who is better or of a higher level than yourself. It will be self-improvement for life as you strive to catch up to this person. What good thing can you take out of your relationship?