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Funny and nasty things Nairobi women do after breakups

Breakups elicit different reactions from the affected lovebirds and sometimes the bitterness can make one act without thought.

City women lit up the internet with narrations of things they did after breakups in a bid to punish their partners.

The crazy actions range from draining the bed with salad oil, to burning clothes and even breaking all fittings in the house.

Have a read and enjoy the drama.

“One, soaked all his clothes in water, including the ones that were running color, poured everything called food stuff in the sink and left. The other bump, I wrapped up his clothes nicely, took them to him to his workplace, left them at the reception desk.

TOOK EVERYTHING

“I took almost everything in that house including this smart clothes hizo zingine nikakunia and nikakojolea and I left ,we used to have a cyber sasa nimebeba vitu za hao nikabakisha za cyber zile important I went nikapeleka hizo and I come for computers nikapata mtu amechange kifuli mark you its around saa saba usiku nikatafuta wanaume watatu they tried to break it for almost one hour saa hio kuna watu wa ploti naogapa asiambiwe by good luck ikakatwa I took all computers printers ,laminator ,rooter,bidder nikamuachia ile photocopier kubwa and nikafunga poa and I left. Akaniambia next day anaenda kuripoti nikamshow aende akachange akanishow anaenda ukambani nirudishe hizo vitu within one week I didn’t until now niko na branch mbili za cyber.

Sema kumwagilia bed maji, 3litres of salad oil mixed with drinking chocolate, sugar and salt and lastly nikapakaa nguo zake zile smart Kiwi ya black and I took off.

“I carried nothing but used his toothbrush to wash the loo. He used it thinking I didn’t know what he was up to. I love my every bit of revenge.

“Mimi nilibeba boxer zake zote nkazichoma next day akani text kunitel ati alienda job bila boxer.

Nilitoboa super drums zote na zilikuwa zimejaa maji ndio akija afanye general cleaning.

Kila kitu nilibeba hadi tiles nikatoa yote, hadi madirisha ..alafu nikamuachia meza moja kadogo.

“Everything including his clothes and even the bulbs .mopped that house clean na kuweka poster ya TO LET kwa mlango.

PILIPILI ON BOXERS

“Boxers zake zote nilipaka pilipili siwezi umia pekee yangu then trailed him akienda town akijikuna kama mtu ana kaswende.

Mimi nlibeba viatu zake one shoe in every pair nikamwachia kiatu moja moja….up to date he still remembers.

“My cousin made my day. She tied her cow with a rope, had a hen and chicks akaweka kwa pot ndani, mtoto nyuma, pot kifuani..then with a shepherd stick led the cow, chicken and kids home at night. Mind you ni kwa milima ??????????????????..nguo hakubeba.

NilivuNja kila kitu breakable inclusive of 32″ Tv, home theater and glass table. Then nikaendea mafuta ya taa 5ltrs, nikamwaga kutoka kwa bed hadi kwa viti na nikaishia.

Tulikosana one time. Wamama nilitafuta kitu ya kubeba yenye si mzito. Ended up taking green berries, yoghurt kwa fridge and all the fruits nkkkkt. I wish I had a lorry then. Nilienda nikikula ka berry kamoja kamoja nikijiongelesha.

“We had guests (his friends) who didn’t know we had a huge fight previous night. So they were chatting in the sitting room while I was in the kitchen. I arranged the dining table hadi nikaweka maji ya kunywa. Went to the bedroom, got my car keys, packed all the food kwa bowls nikaweka kwa boot ya gari and drove off. He called me akicheka tu.

CARRIED MY TV

“I carried my TV na sikuwa na doe ya taxi so I just carried it like that n went through tao without a care in the world lol.

Mimi nilibreak kioo ya gari na mawe… Zero chills… Alafu after a month tukarudiana…Shame on me. I was back there to do more, so alienda job nikaboil all eggs kwa fridge na nikarudisha kwa fridge kaa ziko boiled. I later carried the tv coz alikuwa amesema niuze angu nikienda kwake before nikaomba pesa ya taxi niende tao na ivo ndo alilipq taxi ya kupeleka tv kwangu… Bullshit he texts me till now..by now he knows am a bad ass.

“Mine is a reversed role?? My bro at 20yrs alibeba hadi used cooking oil ile mtu hudip fry nayo then you save it for later use. Girlfriend alikuwa amepika nyama na sukuma in readiness for dinner ndio akitoka class ni kupika tu ugali (they were both 1st years in College). Bro arrived home kitu 8.30pm akakuja akanishow nipee sima niko na mboga??

“If you thought its only women who do crazy things my neibas husband alitoboa sufuria zote na vikombe sahani akavunja na za plastic akatoboa na superdrum akatoboa na curtains na blankets akakata kata hakuna kitu alibakisha inaeza ata chota maji na mattress akakata into two alafu akaleft na akafunga na kufuli.

“I think am one cool person, I don’t carry anything or bring tantrums I just leave, utaachwa ukijijazia, l believe silence is a strong weapon.

“I only carried my son..we just left na nguo tu zenye tulikuwa tumevaa we left everything else mpaka simu yenye alikuwa amenibaia. Life is better now.