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Five tips to a happy inter-ethnic marriage


Sometimes the person you fall in love with and dream of spending the rest of your life with is from a different ethnicity than you. The good news is that it is possible to have a happy inter-ethnic marriage. Here’s how;

1. It’s insignificant – The very first step to having a happy inter-ethnic marriage or relationship is to change your mind set about it. The common assumption by most of us is that there are a lot of challenges. Who said that there aren’t challenges in marriages where both parties are of the same ethnic background? When you look at the bigger picture, you will start to understand just how insignificant ethnicity is.

2. There will be culture shocks – We may be in the 21st century but this is not to say that our communities have completely abandoned their various cultural practices. You don’t have to fully embrace the other culture for you to be happy in a relationship. Vigorously resisting it on the other hand will work against your relationship. Try working hand in hand to see which cultures you will adopt with ease, which ones you will work at and which ones you will throw out the window altogether.

3. Foods – Different cultures have different types of foods. Your relationship is going to fail if you are going to impose your foods on your partner. Try exploring different types of foods from both ends. Give your partner a chance to decide for themselves which foods they love and which ones they hate.

4. Lots of patience – Our back grounds and upbringing usually mold who we grow up to be. How you were raised will determine how you think and even how you fight. A relationship with a person from a background that is starkly different from yours thus calls for a lot of patience.

5. Language – The good thing about living in Nairobi today is that there are at least two languages that most of the people here understand – English and Swahili. This means that even if your love interest is from a different tribe, the two of you will be able to adequately communicate. It, however, may be a little different with the extended family. Going out of your way to learn the other person’s language will go a long way in making you feel included in extended family settings.

6. The disapproving family – The greatest challenge in an inter-ethnic relationship usually is disapproving family members, what can one do about it? Listen to their concerns without making a quick judgment. It is however only up to you to determine whether or not their concerns are valid.