Eight rules that should guide every platonic friendship
So you have been friend zoned and are wondering what to do about it. Or there is this person who you want to remain in your life but who makes a better friend than lover. What to do? Cultivate a platonic relationship with them.
The good news is that contrary to popular belief, it is possible for a man and a woman to have a healthy platonic friendship. Here’s how to make sure that your friendship grows you and no one gets hurt;
1. Talk about the significant other early – If you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, if you are in a relationship, make sure that the person you are in a platonic relationship with knows right from the onset. This will weed out any form of miscommunication.
2. There shouldn’t be hope – If you are one of those people who decide to settle for a platonic friendship with a man or woman with the hope that when they get to know you a little better then they will be romantically attracted to you, just leave it alone. The only agenda that platonic friends should have is friendship.
3. If you are miserable – If you have agreed to be just friends with this person but your heart breaks every time they introduce you as a friend, take a break. You can’t cultivate a friendship at the cost of your wellbeing. If you can’t be just friends with them, walk away.
4. Awkward sexual conversations – Do not give space for awkward sexual conversations. These might put ideas in your heads or build up a sexual tension which is not good for friendship.
5. Avoid addiction – It is a bad idea to have just one friend of the opposite sex. Have a variety. This way, you will know how to behave around each other.
6. Stick to groups – Platonic relationships are generally safer if you spend time together with other people. Group hangs are very effective in keeping the air platonic.
7. The alcohol – If the two of you decide to spend time together alone, then it is wise if the meeting does not entail drinking alcohol or cuddling. This is because alcohol lowers our inhibitions. It may blur the lines in your friendship a situation which can only result in heartbreak.
8. Show them your bad side – If the two of you have agreed to be just friends, then you shouldn’t be tripping over yourself to show this person your best side. Treat them like you treat friends of the same sex as you, show them even your bad side to avoid them idealizing you.