CITY GIRL: Some lessons I learnt in 2016 to see you through the new year
Today’s column, ladies, gentlemen and daughters of Zayuni, will be more reflective and poignant than the usual brash and rude City Girl you all hate to love. (I know the phrase is “love to hate”, but I am an optimist)
I thought I could I share a lesson or two that I learnt in 2016, the year that many lives changed.
1. Hard work does not always pay: You will work hard, you will try your best, you will sacrifice and you will sweat it out in the office or in your business, but I am sorry to break it to you; hard work won’t always pay. And that’s okay. Sometimes we work so hard towards things that we want and we will not always get them because maybe they were not ours in the first place. You will lose that job after working so hard, you will lose that contract even after being the most likely candidate, and you will miss out on that opportunity even if it was clear you were best suited for it. Make peace with yourself. Don’t give up just yet. Get up, dust yourself and look for the other door creaking open for you.
2. You need enemies: Take it from a girl who knows a thing or two about having enemies. You cannot please everyone. That is fine. Not everyone will give you a standing ovation. That is okay. You need enemies. If you don’t have enemies, please make some. Here’s why; enemies are a sign of progress. Enemies are just closeted fans who feel a little threatened by how far you have come. Nobody ever hated on a person they did not secretly admire. After all, even the good book says “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”. (Psalm 23:5). If you don’t have enemies, before whom do you think the good Lord shall prepare a banquet for you? Even God has budgeted for your enemies, so quit that naïve thinking that everyone ought to be your friend.
3. God’s got you: Is this beginning to sound like a sermon? We live in a world surrounded by people, in high and mighty places, that think they could play God. People that think they could change the course of your life by one decision. This year, I have covered stories of people who thought their lives were over because of one person’s actions. That their lives depended on the goodwill of someone, of the government. How wrong they are. And how wrong you are, to think that a mere mortal man has the last world over your life, your family, your education or your career. You may not see Him, but you’ll see His actions anyway. Do I make sense? God’s got you, okay? So relax!
4. Appreciate the ‘gift of goodbye”: People will come in and walk out of your life at will. Make peace with that. Also, appreciate the ‘gift of goodbye”. If they want to leave; Let. Them. Go. If they don’t want to be friends anymore, spouses anymore or your employer anymore, please; LET. THEM. GO. Open the door for them, be nice, say to them “Thank you very much for your time” and start to unpack the gift of goodbye they just handed you. Then take a deep breath and watch the greatness unfold round the corner. A friend told me “The circle got smaller and the vision got bigger”.
5. You will be misunderstood and mistaken: You are like a diamond; multifaceted and intimidating. People will focus on the face whose lustre they are comfortable with. Accept that not everyone will understand you. And that is just fine. Not everyone will get you. Not everyone will appreciate your decisions. Your vision is not so simple that everyone will understand its complexity. You are not meant for everyone’s consumption so don’t walk around expecting approval of the masses. Understand that people must talk, so they will talk, so let them talk. They will pass judgements based on their insecurities and try to rationalise your ambition. My advice; do it anyway!
6. Lastly, the best revenge is success: You cannot argue with success. In the course of your work or business, you will meet people who will injure you and whose malice will change the course of your work, but only briefly. Do not for a moment think about revenge. Forgive, but do not forget the lesson it taught you. The journey is long and hard. Forgive, travel light to make room for future slight. Then, work. The best revenge is always to be successful at what people said could not be done. Start that business that you were told was “too complicated”. Go back to school if you may. Take on that tough job, responsibility and show ‘em who’s boss. Go on…have a merry Christmas and let’s kick *** in 2017. To a successful 2017!