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MISS SPICY: Girl, can we recognise you without makeup?

By Miss Spicy November 1st, 2019 3 min read

The online community can be quite unforgiving and ruthless, especially if you give them the slightest reason to tear you down. The other day, netizens were all over the Internet trolling a certain female politician who had been arrested. Ironically, they were not talking about her alleged crime but her makeup, or lack of it when she appeared in court. Incidentally, Aisha Jumwa, (well, by now you must know who we are talking about) before the judge was a far cry of the Hon Aisha Jumwa the public was used to. And the difference was in the makeup.

The honourable Member of Parliament had committed the ‘ultimate crime’ of appearing in public without makeup and you could have been forgiven for not recognising her. This discrepancy, however, caused a stir on social media and the memes started flowing in thick and fast. One meme that stood out and was forwarded over and over again must have been, “Wewe ni msupuu ama tungoje ushikwe?” with two photos of Jumwa; one with makeup and the other without.

Let me make a disclaimer… I have absolutely nothing against makeup. Matter of fact, I think it looks really nice, however, ONLY when it is applied with the intention of enhancing a woman’s beauty and not altering her appearance. A recent conversation with a male friend over dinner got me thinking about makeup. I’m not talking about that crop of men (kamati ya roho chafu kinda folks) who see nothing good about makeup and completely demonise it, complete with the makeup user. No, I’m talking about a man who appreciates light makeup on a woman. If men say they hate makeup, I believe they lie.

A GOOD LAUGH

I came across a research online where male participants were shown various photos of women; some with makeup and some without. The men were then asked to rate the different faces for likeability, trustworthiness, competence and attractiveness. Interestingly, the faces with makeup scored higher on these values. Well, that might not tell us much but light makeup makes a woman look beautiful.

Hmmm… my friend and I had a good laugh when he told me that once at his workplace, there was a crisis and staff members were urgently recalled to work and he could barely recognise most of the ladies since they had not had time to wear makeup. He swears he wasn’t exaggerating and I feel him, especially when you look at most ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos of women doing the rounds online. One look at these two photos and I kid you not, you would be forgiven to think they are two different people.

I actually feel makeup should be used to enhance your beautiful features or conceal a pimple or scar that you wish to. Maybe I do not have the time for the complete ritual or more honestly, I do not even know how to apply makeup. Haha! I have, however, engaged a professional makeup artist on a few occasions like during my sister’s wedding or when I wanted to shine bright like a diamond. Lol! On most days, mimi huyo… sunscreen and a dash of colour on my lips and I’m good to go. And sometimes I even do without the lippie.

GO MISSING

Heavy makeup that transforms you completely and makes you unrecognisable is a no-no, seriously! I promise it’s a total scam! I remember a certain girl online who posted two photos of herself; one with makeup the other with minimal makeup, almost bare. The first photo with no makeup she captioned: “This is for when I go missing”, while the second up (which by the way she looked totally different) she captioned: “This is when I want your fathers to pay my rent”.

Let’s ignore the words for now and focus on the fact that you can totally transform yourself with makeup until you are unrecognisable! Woe unto the boy child… who wakes up to a totally different woman in the morning! “Aki women should indicate their original colour on the birth certificate. In addition, you must take her swimming first to see ‘who she really is’,” joked a male colleague who says he feels cheated every time he realises the girl he met is not the same one each time she resets to ‘factory settings’. Haha!

Psychologists tell us that a woman will want to look beautiful to increase her chances of attracting a male, which is quite understandable… But looking so different that if your own mother was given your photo and asked who you are she would not be sure? Really? At times I wonder what the intention is. Anyways, we can talk until the cows come home but the beauty industry will continue to thrive. Women will still buy makeup regardless of recession of the economy – they call it the ‘lipstick effect’.

Makeup is a beautiful art and yes, there are professions where makeup is a must-have. On-screen makeup, for instance, is usually heavy, which has to do with the cameras and lighting but every day makeup should not get you turning the wrong heads. Some girls wear their makeup so well it’s tempting to ask them for a tutorial but then again… do you Boo!