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MISS SPICY: Are journalists really having least sex?


What is your day job? Does it come with so much pressure that you find yourself missing out on sex? It might be interesting to note that some professions can be so engaging, with meeting after meeting that by the time you get home all you want is to hit the bed – alone! Others on the other hand see sex after a long day as a welcome release.

A recent study by Lelo UK on who’s having the most sex revealed that farmers (maybe due to their stamina due to manual work), topped the list with over 33 percent claiming to enjoy a romp in the sheets once a day! In their study, Lelo revealed that 21 percent of architects and 17 percent of hairdressers were enjoying sex once a day. In addition, the study claimed that journalists had the least sexual activity while lawyers are the hardest profession to please in bed! A moment of silence for those dating lawyers. I mean, a partner that is hard to please is so annoying because you could outdo yourself and still they won’t appreciate all your gymnastics. Interesting.

The study, however, wasn’t carried out in Kenya and I can’t help but wonder how it would have turned out. Lol! Which profession in your guestimate has the most and least sex? Perhaps Lelo should pay us a visit. Oh, in case you are wondering who that is, allow me… LELO is a Swedish designer brand that specialises in upmarket sex toys and erotic massage products. Incidentally, some people take sexual fulfillment and satisfaction very seriously and that is what this world’s leading provider of intimate lifestyle products that include high-quality pleasure objects and luxurious massage oils and candles does.

CURIOUS PAIR

Of course, you and I make a curious pair so I decided to digress from our research to Google some of the sex toys Lelo makes and boy, was I in shock! And I discovered the most expensive sex toy in the world is ‘The Royal Pearl’, which is made of sapphires, pearls, platinum and over 1,000 diamonds! And wait for it… it goes for a cool One MILLION dollars. Ghai! The 12 most expensive ones in the world range between: $1,372 to $65,988. Mind-blowing prices and money that buy you a luxury car or get you a down payment to a nice house in the leafy suburbs or probably a cheap entry-level yacht! Enough of the dildos. But let’s get back to our research, which led us to the newsroom to prove a thing or two about journalists and their sexual habits.

A quick poll in the newsroom proved that sexual starvation is unheard of in a journalist’s world. Lemme laugh first. Over 95 percent of the journalists I talked to said they get enough sex with some saying if it were not for unscrupulous bloggers who are waiting on the sidelines to expose their wicked ways, they would be sleeping around like rabbits! Goodness! Looks like things on the ground are quite different. “When you hear there’s a team-building, just know sex will go down. Actually, always carry condoms just in case,” revealed a male journalist. “There is a lot of screwing the crew that happens in-house. I suspect our only challengers would be PR firms and politicians,” he continues.

Well, as for yours truly, let’s just say a good jiggy jiggy is still not on my vocabulary, not because I wouldn’t want. Let’s blame it on singlehood. Or maybe the fact that I haven’t found a suitable FWB (friend with benefits), perhaps. But it sure does make a number of people sleep better at night. Ed* lamented that if money were not the problem, he would love to bed many girls. The lifestyle writer says that money is the number one contraceptive. His other concern was being exposed either through screenshots or bloggers. While it is true that most journalists meet their sources in bars, it does not always translate to them being drunkards… at least not all of them. “I meet my sources in the bar and head to my girlfriend’s place when I want sex,” confesses one political writer. However, he feels like a good number of journalists are usually too drunk to function at the junction.

Carol* says that she’s in a WhatsApp group that arranges bashes every so often. “It’s like everyone is dying to sleep with everyone else. I can count for you at least 10 ‘couples’ in that group,” she offers. Carol says sleeping around in the newsroom isn’t a strange thing and people do it all the time. A point confirmed by a male journalist who it’s usually the ‘natural’ thing to do after being under so much pressure.

Maybe we would have to take a poll on other professions and hear about their sex lives, or lack of it, but from the journalists I talked to, it’s clear they are not at the bottom of list of professionals getting the least sex. But anyway, the jury is still out there.