Nairobi News

BlogThe Millennial

Oh, the absurd reasons why we love!

Why are you in love? Why are you with your lover? What specifically attracted you to each other?

We often overlook these seemingly simple questions. With the tragic result of ending up loving for the wrong reasons. That is if love features at all.

When you meet someone for the first time, there’s always that feature about them that strikes a lightning bolt in you. This could be either their smile or dramatic haircut or hairstyle. Sometimes it’s their height, other times the gait and spring. Or drawl.

Some people’s hearts are set on fire by teeth. Mind you, the set of teeth doesn’t have to be in any particular order. Crooked or otherwise.

Isn’t it absurd that someone’s socks would ignite hot frizzled sensations in you?

I’ve had a fetish for beautiful feet in flat shoes, say, loafers, and short socks for as long as I’ve had an attraction for women.

How the rims of the socks peep above the shoes sets my loins on a heady throbbing urge to do and say all manner of things.

GRITTY VOICE

I know of women whose insides erupt by the mere sight of anything in a suit. It doesn’t matter if the wearer is smart and chivalrous or has horse piss for brains and is discourteous. Anything goes. The absurdity!

My friend is married. And she digs her man big time. The connection? She fell in love with his ‘cute’ handwriting. Yes, you read that right. Dude must have the hand of a god, don’t you think?

There’s something admirable or inauthentic about men who write so well. Men whose lives seem well figured out. These make the rest of us look like a terrible joke poorly told.

If handwriting were the threshold for sexual attraction, many of us would never get within a 100km radius of love. These men would have our women for themselves. How unfair.

There are souls whose thoughts are fried by a gritty voice. Hold on, why in the name of attraction would anyone be aroused by the sound of a bullfrog?

GO FOR WIT

Then there’s the craze about eyebrows. If there’s something about women that I’ll never quite crack, it’s their obsession with eyebrows. Why do eyebrows intrigue you so much? They are just hairs for crying out loud.

Tragedy is, we peg our love for people on immaterial things. I mean, is it sensible to anchor love on a dimple? Your attraction to a killer dimple can only last for so long.

You hear people lie about how intelligence, character and charisma stop their world. But intrinsically, their hearts are held hostage by unbelievably subtle elements in other people.

Just imagine the number of people in the world dating beautiful dresses and smiles? And those hopelessly in love with sexy toenails. What’s absurder than starting a family with toenails?

If you are attracted to someone’s sexy socks, tee or fancy pants, you have your money on the wrong horse.

Go for wit. Nothing beats a man or woman who can tell a genuinely funny joke. If a drawl completes your world, go for that. The beauty of going for natural attributes is that these won’t fade away.

She will sure remove her loafers. He will change his hairstyle. Her love for dresses will thaw. But intelligence, humour and chivalry will remain in their place forever.