Nairobi News

LifeWhat's Hot

A great body is worth showing off

Ladies, if you got it, flaunt it.

I need not remind you that the true mark of a beautiful African woman is a good derrière. Scratch that. A great, well rounded, ‘firm’ derrière.

You could be sneering all you want now, but you know that I am right. Just ask men, who ‘escort’ a well-endowed woman with their eyes, or the Nairobi women who would trade their brains for a nice bum.

Why else do you think women flock to the gym and request the instructor to show them exercises that firm up the gluteal muscles?

A fib is told about a man who wanted to get married and had three beautiful girlfriends to choose from. His wisdom (or lack of it), led him to give each of the women Sh100,000  to test how they’d spend the money.

He would then make  a decision based on their expenses.

Little secret

The first bought herself a new wardrobe with the excuse of looking good for him. The second went to Housewives’ Paradise and bought all the household appliances she needed, including a cooker with a huge oven so she’d bake her man a pie every day.

The third invested in quail business to secure the family’s future. Just  kidding. She invested in stocks. Which woman do you think the man chose?

Well, he chose the one with a great body. A great pair of tits and, an even greater posterior.

Ladies, let me tell you a little secret. You see these men we love to hate, and hate to love? They are complete airheads, easily confused not by your awesome personality but by your ‘fundamendoz’.

You can be the dumbest girl on earth, or the most intelligent, but guess what; these will not get you the man of your dreams.

Men will lie how personality supersedes good looks, but that’s just men being nice to women who have no bum to write home about.  Men don’t care about personality. They don’t give a damn about your impressive GPA at school, or your leadership skills.

Have you heard the saying ‘Mwanamke ni sura, tabia tutarekebisha’ (a good woman is all about looks, we can always correct bad behaviour)?

Every man would love himself some arm candy to show his boys he is a njaba (a hero). I mean, have you ever seen how men glow with pride when they walk with a nicely endowed woman?

So ladies, if you are blessed with a great bum, dump the drab jeans for a well-fitting skirt or dress, a pair of nice, five-inch heels and strut your stuff! If you have one that resembles a nice pancake, worry not. Go on an eating marathon.

Anything you can get your hands on; French fries, nduma, ngwaci…quail eggs. I don’t care.

Then hit the gym and tone your body. Do a 100 sit-ups a day if you must, but ensure your waist to hip ratio is enviable.