Nairobi News

To some, it’s called the ‘Green City in the Sun’ but to others, it’s simply Nairobbery due to its high levels of crime.

Life in Nairobi is wholesome – from the good, the bad to the downright ugly. Here, we unpack for you some of the experiences majority of city dwellers may have gone through.

1. Conned

Sorry for reminding you that painful experience when you lost all you had in a con scam. You see, this is Nairobi and everybody is looking for rent and food. Forgive, accept and move on. Hope you learnt a few lessons there.

2. Robbed

Who has never lost a phone or two in this city? Ladies, I know you have lost several of these. They snatch our handbags, we shout at the top of our voices and nobody seems to bother. Only a few who say “Pole madam, hii ni Nairobi” (Sorry madam, this is Nairobi). In a city where the rule of the jungle applies, what’s left to do than flow with the current.

3. Waiting at Kenya National Archives/Kenya Cinema 

Hope this doesn’t rub emotions the wrong way again. She made you lean at Mr. Price building for 4 hours at night and never turned up. Worry not. Nairobians go through that every day. And the adage of what goes around, comes around still holds true to date. Her turn to wait will come.

4. Fixed by Kanjos

It could be you were going to work in the morning and alighted matatu at the wrong place. And the kanjos came. You run last time but this time they nabbed you and put you in their vehicle for a ‘tour’ of the city. They are asking for Sh 500 but you have only Sh 200. No friend is in a position to assist. Be still, this is Nairobi for you.

5. Buying time for bus fare to go down

God bless Nairobians. We really go through a lot. The matatu guys have decided to hike the fare and you have the usual amount. What do you do? You wait until 9pm hoping against hope that the fare will go down. No wonder even Google doesn’t know why life is hard.

6. Getting lost in the city

So you remember your first few days in the big city? You kept stopping people to ask for directions. Do you still get lost after all those years in the sun under the sun? You are not alone. Majority of the people in Nairobi share you story.

7. Forgetting change in a matatu

Ask me, there is nothing more painful than forgetting your balance with the conductor especially if its money that can buy you lunch. Conductors are natural psychologists, they have read Nairobians minds and they know that they are thinking about so much and are equally forgetful.

8. Forgetting house keys in the village

Ladies are usually the victim here. You unpacked your bag looking for the new dress you had bought for the purpose of showing the villagers that you are doing quite well. And your house keys fell under the bed. You only realize that you don’t have them just outside your house. Break the padlock.

9. Stampeding to take photos of an incident

Nairobians become ‘journalists’ whenever an incident occurs. They remove their phones taking pictures, asking around what has happened as if someone is waiting for the information. They want to know every detail. After all, it’s not a bad thing.

10. Trekking many kilometres to catch a matatu

There is always that particular estate we have all lived in at some point in our careers where getting matatus is like striking gold. It could either be in the early morning or evening rush hour; the matatus are never enough. It’s good exercise though.