When I first heard this bedroom/relationship complains from a friend, I thought it was rather silly and dramatic, until I started becoming conscious of them with my boyfriend.
I constantly started choosing sides and bringing conversations about certain issues couples fight about, not because I really wanted to but I was curious if he would be defensive and bring his masculinity side in such matters. I know you will say I’m dramatic and yes you are right, he actually says I’m extra.
Truth be told, people living together or couples generally have arguments all the time over silly issues, like who should change paper rolls after using last, when he likes it clean shaven and you don’t, leaving the lights on, toothpaste squeezing issue and many others.
Hahahha! I just remembered yesterday we were bonding with my boyfriend over the sink brushing our teeth; we have this leave-my-toothbrush-at-his-and-he-leave-a-toothbrush-at-mine relationship.
As I placed a dollop of paste on my toothbrush, I noticed when his turn came he squeezed it from the bottom. I looked at him and said, “Does it drive you crazy when I squeeze from the middle?” Without hesitation, he replied, “Yeah.” How the argument turned out is a story for another day.
There are generally things about a couple living together that makes them cohabitationally compatible, but truth be told, you never really know someone until you live with them, it’s these little things that we ignore during courtship that drives us crazy about our boyfriends or partners.
Clearly, love is not enough to survive living together.
So why do people choose sides in the bedroom?
Protectiveness – I have heard it enough times that the man should sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door to protect their significant other, but how factual is this? What if the intruder comes through the window side where the woman is sleeping? I tend to believe this is baseless and not justifiable depending on the circumstance.
Parenting – Whomever is on baby or kid duty during the night sleeps on the outside. But my honest opinion is, this only applies in ‘wazungu world’ all I have heard from friends who have given birth, they only started sleeping on the other side of the bed after the baby came because the woman should be the one looking after the kid(s). So are we calling our ‘African men’ irresponsible and unbothered to assist when it comes to who wakes up when? I don’t want to be the judge but if that is the case, it’s so unfortunate.
Old habits – They say old habits die hard, so depending on the side you slept on before you began sharing a bed with your partner is the side you are likely to sleep on.
Early birds – Whoever gets up earlier in the morning sleeps on the outside or the door side depending on whether your bed is in the middle of the room or on the wall.
I Need to Be Closer to the Bathroom – Whoever makes frequent trips to the bathroom at nights gets to sleep on the side the toilet is on, since it’s quicker and easier to access without disturbing the partner. I have to admit that this would actually work for me. I honestly love going to the ‘loo’ I have funny acquired hobbies ‘I know’, I think it’s a conversation I should pick up. (That’s part of me being extra.)
There are so many reasons of why, when, where, which side to sleep on but funnily enough, there is no right or wrong answer for which half of the partnership gets which side of the bed.
A wise man said, in order to induce romance in the bedroom and create positive energy for the relationship, a man should take the left side of the bed while a woman should take the right, so if you are still confused about which side to induce your romance, then follow the wise fellow.
You wouldn’t be normal if you did not have fights with your spouse. Yes, fights can be sad and hurtful, but they are also sometimes fun, and bring you way closer to one another than before. Not to forget the part that follows a fight where you resort to romantic ways to fix things. Sigh!!
When you vividly remember how that turned out for you last time, steam, fire and sweat are not enough words to describe that profound moment.