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By MAGGIE SHIKS

Maybe I’m the only remaining human being who thinks pornography has inculcated sex expectations; it has corrupted our minds into thinking that penetrative sex can actually make women ‘come’ or assume there is a recipe for female orgasm.

And for sure this works regularly, but at times it doesn’t work (unfortunately) –we fake it rather than spending more time and effort working for it.

You will ask why? But I will gladly say “it’s complicated…”

I, however, believe it’s an abhorrent crime to fake an orgasm. We tend to teach men that they are so good in hammering and can make us “come” with a rapid thrust alone.

The fact remains that most non-orgasmic women can’t climax from penetrative intercourse alone. They need direct stimulation –way more direct clitoral stimulation than you’d ever think is necessary.

So yeah, someone has probably faked an orgasm with you. Don’t panic, just talk about it. But talking about it, though, isn’t what made me jot this down –faking it did.

The world tells women they should enjoy sex and have a lot of it mmmmhh!!! But on the contrary, the same world doesn’t tell women how to enjoy it. And until the conversation about sex shifts from what men like to what women like, a lot of women aren’t going to know how to ask for an orgasm or want in bed and in regards to that we will continue faking it. Here’s why:

We are worn out and we just want it over with

Nothing brings fire and passion during sex more than a mutual orgasm (even when one party fakes it). So I will pretend to be in it, the quicker I fake the passionate orgasm the faster he will climax and both of us will have satisfied our needs. The difference is that mine wasn’t sex driven.

Lack of foreplay

Make out; eat her out, your sex partner needs all that to have orgasm. Most women would do anything to have just that.

I was having a discussion the other day with a friend, and I was saddened by how women in chamas come out during their intimate ‘girls talk’ of never experiencing an orgasm with their partners but when they tried cheating, it felt magical.

They felt wanted, adored, appreciated and couldn’t stop.

Their partners, however, would come home, hammer it and boom! we are done. I guess then it’s a lie what people say about sex not being the main thing in a relationship.

Gone are the days when women stuck around for everything else other than sex. If that’s not the case, why then do we have cases of women cheating? This is my two cents: Sex is as important as love in every relationship.

You keep telling her to “come”

Nothing kills morale like being forced to the finishing line. If you’re asking her every two seconds “did you come?” and she eventually moans a half-assed “yeah sweetie,” it was likely just to shut you up.

Don’t pressure your partner into having an orgasm, go with her pace. Is that too much to ask?

We are drunk

Anyone who has had a drink, knows that alcohol is a philter. It, however, makes achieving an orgasm hard. I used to think whiskeydick only affects dudes, but it was a biological joke, since women also have a share of it.

If I had enough to drink, I will fake an orgasm and yell so loudly “oh my god, oh my god. F****! F***!” not only to his ear but all over the room so that my sex life and his, brings shimmer and success.

So you will ask, is it just writing or do I fake orgasms as well. Mmmhhh taking a deep breath and at last sigh!! “I could win an Oscar for my orgasmic performances.”

I think I watched too much Sex and the City, (remember the series?) but the bigger question is what would happen if every woman on earth stopped faking orgasms? Mmmmhhh!!!

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